F O R T U N E

[F O R T U N E @ForchWeavs]

@Sharayah_kim Yeet it and pray my girl.

[F O R T U N E @ForchWeavs]

Me: *enters battle with two dolphins and a dream catcher* 😂😂 fuck

[Emily Fluke ⚔️is obsessed with retellings @EmilyFluke2]

If you had to go into a battle with only the items tattooed on you, would you survive?

I’ve got a sword, a crossbow, and a needle.

[F O R T U N E @ForchWeavs]

*watching the Lion King*
Me (singing along): pink pajamas penguins on the bottom
Him: that cannot be what they’re saying *gets up to google it*

[F O R T U N E @ForchWeavs]

Today someone came to my work and explained how sick they are of “libtards complaining about rape” because “rape isn’t even real”.

I did not choke slam this person.

Give me a goddamn gold star.

[F O R T U N E @ForchWeavs]

Let me just say- I am proud of and admire our service men and women....

BUT

Y’all can’t throw shit at sex workers saying they are despicable for “selling their body for money” when you got “US VET” in your bio. Don’t @ me. I’m just sayin.

[F O R T U N E @ForchWeavs]

Hear me out....
We could place a shock collar on each candidate and put the remote on that table so when he says “hush” y’all MFs hush.

[jonathan @beetsouped]

i think she’s a queen

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

I'm not looking to punish anyone, but it's about time the super-wealthy and corporate America start paying their fair share.

[Don Winslow @donwinslow]

EVERYBODY SHOULD TWEET THIS TODAY:

HEY DONALD TRUMP

I don't care about Hunter Biden.

I want to talk about 200,000 dead on your watch, the children you put in cages, the Russian bounties on U.S. soldiers and the $750 dollars you paid in taxes.

[Akilah Hughes @AkilahObviously]

Trump has never let anyone finish first that's for damn sure.

[Sarah Dohl ❌👑 @SarahDohl]

The President of the United States just refused to condemn white supremacists.

[F O R T U N E @ForchWeavs]

Did you hear that? Donny just CONDEMNED white supremacy.

Oh... oh wait...

Nvm. He dodged that like be dodged the draft.

[F O R T U N E @ForchWeavs]

I am PRAYING that only America is watching this batshit nonsense.

If you’re outside of the US- send help. We’re not all like this. Adopt me. I make a killer grilled cheese.

[The Daily Show @TheDailyShow]

Wallace when the camera isn't on him

[F O R T U N E @ForchWeavs]

When Biden called Trump a clown on National TV....
HASHTAG D A D D Y

[F O R T U N E @ForchWeavs]

“Women for Trump 2020”

AKA

“Women against Women 2020. Because fuck you and fuck me and fuck uteruses. Let’s all come together and be second class citizens again”

[F O R T U N E @ForchWeavs]

“Hi this is Allison, can you please hold?”

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I SAID NO

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I’m not wearing glasses anymore.

I’ve seen enough.