Fostercarer2 ❄

Foster carer aka benefit scrounger. #toriesout #pinnedtweetwanker

[Fostercarer2 ❄ @Fostercarer2]

Last night my opinion of you dropped quicker than a Tory poll rating, you went from hero to zero in the time than it takes to read a fucking headline. #ElonMusk

https://t.co/MHRFB1Vgfn

[Fostercarer2 ❄ @Fostercarer2]

@X2Gold Not me. I was rubbish at it.

[Jack Whitehall @jackwhitehall]

Most annoying sentence to hear in an ice cream parlour. ‘Can I try the vanilla?’

[Fostercarer2 ❄ @Fostercarer2]

Can I fuck find the clay pigeon in paradise palms!! #Fortnite

[Chris Hemsworth @chrishemsworth]

Immediately after this shot was taken my son viciously attacked me from behind (due to his ninja training) and slammed my face into the flaming candles, I’ll now be playing Deadpool if @VancityReynolds pulls the pin #bestbirthdayever @ElsaPataky_

[Shit Jokes @ShitJokes]

So what if I can't spell Armagedon?

It's not the end of the world.

[Satan @s8n]

Murderer : any last words?

Me : Alexa, play ‘highway to Hell’ then ‘coming home’

[Satan @s8n]

Imagine dating a girl who hails Satan with you

[Satan @s8n]

Jesus : I’m going to sacrifice myself for all your sins

Everyone : bit dramatic but okay

[Satan @s8n]

*Someone angers God*

God : send a plague and make him suffer

Me : aren’t I suppose to be the bad guy here?

[Satan @s8n]

God may judge you but I love you no matter what

[Satan @s8n]

Everyone wants to hail me until it’s time to sacrifice their best friend, smh fakes.

[Fostercarer2 ❄ @Fostercarer2]

@RealHughJackman @Pink I'll never forget when we seen her in Sunderland. She's fantastic.

[Hugh Jackman @RealHughJackman]

The amazing @Pink One of the best concerts I have ever seen!
And, she’s been sick all week.
Inspiring.

[Satan @s8n]

It’s a lot harder to torture people nowadays since everyone actually enjoys being tied up and gagged.

[Satan @s8n]

*torturing souls in hell*

Me : Alexa play my torture playlist

*despacito starts playing on repeat*

[John Smith (son of Harry Leslie Smith) @Harryslaststand]

I am 100 miles east of Toronto and in a food shop a young woman with her small son approaches me, tears in her eyes and says " I follow you on twitter. Thank you for what you do.!"

[Satan @s8n]

Come to hell there’s free WiFi