Fox Riley MD 🦊

Cousin of Cat_Riley_SCW and co-lead trainer at the Brat Pack Wrestling academy. *I like my own tweets* (This is a fictional efed acct)

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

Thank you for the follows everybody!

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you'll see a wedding ring.

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

Police - "What's your emergency?"
Geno - "Two girls are fighting over me."
Police - "OK, so what's the problem?"
Geno - "The ugly one's winning."

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

Would it be possible to cross an eel with an eagle?

Absolutely not. That would be eeleagle.

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

English 101

Tsunami - T is silent
Honest - H is silent
Psychology - P is silent
Knife - K is silent
Wife - Husband is silent

Class dismissed.

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

Went to the country yesterday and fell into a well. I was stuck down there for three hours...

...it was time well spent.

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

I had a hard time figuring out why I don't consider cottage cheese truly "cheese".

But it's just a curd to me.

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"

Me: "A drinking problem."

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient, I will get to you soon.

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

@SCWChristian

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

Give a man a fish and you will feed him for the day.
Teach a man to fish and he’s going to spend a fortune on gear he’ll only be using twice a year.

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

I have one thing to say to the invalid who stole my camouflage army jacket: You can hide, but you can't run.

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

There once was a girl named Louise...
Whose pubes hung down to her knees...
Her crabs got together and knitted a sweater...
So in the winter her flaps wouldn't freeze.

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

Geno is kicking me out because
he's fed up with my South American
animal puns.

“OK,”I said, “Alpaca my bags”.

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

Morrigan's horse will only come out its stable when it gets dark.

It's becoming a night mare.

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

Geno and I had sex for three hours last night...

We role-played as a doctor and patient...

I was in the waiting room for 2 hours and 57 minutes.

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

@Cat_RileySCW @PersephoneGB fine, whatever.

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

HIM: I like girls who think about the future.
ME: I drank pineapple juice before this date.
HIM: What?
ME: What?

[Fox Riley MD 🦊 @Fox_Riley_SCW]

I'm in a pretty good mood today. I'll still tell you to fuck off, but I'll have a smile on my face. I might not even give you the finger.