alienireng

kowkowkowkow

[GenZGrind @GenZ_grind]

GUE KAGET GILA BRO!

Temen gue gaji UMR Jakarta Rp5,3 juta. Tapi rumahnya KPR, mobilnya cash, tabungannya 150jt.

Langsung gue nanya, “Bro, lo nyambi jadi anjelo apa gimana sih?!”

Dia ketawa pelan, terus jawab satu kalimat yang bikin gue diem:

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

The official line is that they were a Norwegian trade delegation. Technically accurate, because they are Nordic, and there was trade. But they are also seven feet tall, telepathic, and arrived on the South Lawn without a vehicle.

I am the Deputy Director of Visitor Logistics at the White House. I logged them into WAVES as FOREIGN DIGNITARIES (3), NON-TERRESTRIAL, NO MOTORCADE REQUIRED, and the meeting went extremely well.

The Pleiadians requested the audience in March. They communicate telepathically, which the President respected immediately, because it meant nothing was in writing.

They traveled 444 light-years to deliver a warning about our trajectory as a species, the kind of warning a doctor gives a patient who keeps asking if he can smoke in the waiting room. Atomic weapons. Ocean collapse. Machine intelligence. I did not take complete notes, because the meeting ran 25 minutes and he spent the first eleven asking where they got the jackets.

Their opening offer: clean fusion, the cure for every disease, the propulsion equations. Free. Contingent on planetary disarmament.

His advisors begged him not to negotiate against a species that reads minds. It turned out he is the one man alive with nothing to find. They reached into his mind expecting layer upon layer of deception and found a single image, perfectly clear: him, wearing one of their jackets. The delegation conferred for a long moment and informed us that in eleven thousand years of contact, no species had ever tried to buy the uniform. They called it coherence. They did not mean it as a compliment. He has already trademarked it.

He countered. Landing rights, retroactive to 1947. Eighty years of unauthorized airspace use, invoiced with interest. Legal added a line item for the weather balloon story. Narrative services. We billed them for our own cover-up, and the tall one went silent for nine seconds, which I am told is how their species weeps.

Greenland stays in the deal. They did not want Greenland. He said that's how he knew it was valuable. What kind of advanced civilization passes on waterfront?

Then UFC Freedom 250. This Sunday. Seven bouts on the same lawn we were standing on. His birthday, which he assured them was a coincidence the universe keeps arranging. He offered them galactic distribution rights. Then he looked at the tall one for a long time and offered him the co-main event. Seven feet. Reach like a cathedral door. Walks around at a weight our scales log as an error. Someone said the commission would never sanction it. He appoints the commission.

The tall one declined. He lowered the offer to the prelims. This is a negotiating technique.

They asked if staging a cage fight on the negotiation site was a threat display. He said it was a Flag Day celebration, and also yes.

I should note that an environmental group has sued to stop the octagon. Nobody has sued to stop the aliens. I forwarded this to Counsel as proof that the permitting process is working.

Protocol required a gift exchange. They presented a small silver sphere that shows the holder the full consequences of his choices. He looked into it for four seconds and asked if it came in gold.

You have all seen the photo. A groundskeeper took it through the magnolias. We told the press pool it was a costume rehearsal for a streaming series, and the pool, to their credit, wrote that down. The groundskeeper now works at the Department of Energy. I am told this is a promotion.

There is also footage. He spotted the camera mid-meeting and pointed at it the way you'd point at a waiter whose name you intend to learn. Instead of having it confiscated, he licensed it on the spot. The leak is now official merchandise. Every time you share it, a royalty accrues. You have probably shared it. Have you checked? He thanks you for your business.

The deal collapsed at dusk. The Pleiadians withdrew the fusion offer when he asked them to walk out before the main event as Special Guests of the Octagon. They said humanity was not ready. He had Counsel log that as a verbal option to renew.

Final tally: our species declined the cure for every disease and counteroffered with pay-per-view. The delegation received two tickets to the Ellipse screening area. Not cageside. He does not give away cageside.

They left without sound. One moment present, then elsewhere, like a fee disclosure.

Two things before Sunday. The walkout jackets for the main card are red with gold embroidery. Licensed. The fusion fell through, but the jackets closed in an afternoon.

And there are three seats on the South Lawn logged as HOLD, GUESTS OF THE PRINCIPAL, DO NOT ASSIGN. I did not enter that hold. The system says I did.

He says everyone comes back to the table.

We're the only planet with the belt.

[Pi Update @CoreNews_2]

$3000 to 10 people who predicts correct score.

ends in 12 hrs

[alienireng @Frans11871]

@CoreNews_2 3-1 Brazil winn

[alienireng @Frans11871]

@realMaalouf No wonder Chinese Government stated it as a mental illness.

[Matt Wallace @MattWallace888]

Here is a photo of the meeting from another angle!

I asked all the top AIs about it:

1. Grok
2. Uncensored AI
3. Gemini
4. Claude
5. OpenAI

Only ONE answered honestly. Glad I downloaded it already because Apple is definitely about to remove Uncensored AI from the App Store.

[alienireng @Frans11871]

@uiyui_jk @erinsongbird Then your government need to kick the hell out those invaders, as soon as possible. No excuse, no mercy.

[alienireng @Frans11871]

@connorcrd 3-1 PSG win

[alienireng @Frans11871]

@RealJamesWoods Throw them all into the middle of ocean

[alienireng @Frans11871]

@Netizen_bawel Bawa istrinya ke laut, sampe tengah laut, buang

[alienireng @Frans11871]

@realMaalouf am i joke to you?

[sidegigx @sidegigx]

Skill kamu bisa jadi duit. Serius.

sidegigx bukan grup chat — ini platform dengan sistem order, review, dan payment aman.

Daftar jadi freelancer gratis. Kerja remote, bayar on time 👇

[Tosin Taylor @Itstosintaylor]

@Cristiano @AlNassrFC_EN @AlNassrFC Ronaldo FC, Tonight we feast 🎉

[alienireng @Frans11871]

@Hidupsebagai62 Kalo mau demo, nanti aja abis piala dunia ya

[alienireng @Frans11871]

@kopibitter Yg lu mksud ini surga nya siapa??? Emang lu kira surga nya nonis sama dgn surganya muslim? Beda tong. Jgn lu pikir sama.

[alienireng @Frans11871]

@VCSGRATIS_STW DM nomer nya, gw bayarin

[Ahmad Jilul Q. Farid 🇵🇸 @jilulisme]

Waduh, investor mulai berani teriak!

Sedang beredar surat terbuka dari Kamar Dagang Tiongkok (CCC Indonesia) langsung buat Presiden. Isinya benar-benar tamparan keras buat wajah birokrasi kita!

Bayangin aja, mereka terang2an bongkar borok yg dihadepin investor/pengusaha di lapangan:

1. Pungli & Pemerasan: Mereka mengeluhkan adanya praktik korupsi dan pemerasan oleh oknum berwenang yang sudah sangat mengganggu operasi bisnis.

2. Ada denda kehutanan "rekor" sebesar US$180 juta yang dijatuhkan secara sepihak dan dianggap berlebihan.

3. Kebijakan nikel berubah-ubah mendadak sampai bikin biaya produksi melonjak 200%

4. Birokrasi korup. ada masalah, saluran resmi macet, tapi kalau lewat perantara dan pake pelicin baru masalah bisa beres.

Gimana mau ekonomi tumbuh 8% kalau investor aja merasa dirampok dan ga ada kepastian hukum?. Nasib jutaan pekerja sekarang di ujung tanduk karena ketidakmampuan pemerintah menjaga iklim usaha yang bersih. Mana ini Bowo katanya mau sikat korupsi, jangan sampai Indonesia dicap sebagai sarang pungli internasional

surat terbuka dari CCCI bisa dibaca selengkapnya di: https://t.co/yOgVQdAKWr

[alienireng @Frans11871]

@KapudS640 Kita tukaran aja mau gak? Wkwkwk

[alienireng @Frans11871]

@ScaryEurope The civil War Will coming soon across the Europe

[alienireng @Frans11871]

@ChigaCzr In 2x45' = 1-1 draw