Anti Bryan A. Garner

I am the anti Bryan A. Garner.
I am not Bryan A. Garner.

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

RIP #Scalia

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

A beautifully written holiday classic. http://t.co/iI6QFBURvv

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

“@xenoaroe: here is a new profile pic http://t.co/Y678tS4PKJ”

#NoFilter

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

"Weezy F. Baby and the 'F' is for phenomenal." - Lil Wayne

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

The Legal Baller continues to embody good legal writing. @atlblog http://t.co/DxcFNkrdCR

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

Syllogisms are okay occasionally, but use a haiku when you really want to drive the point home.

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

“@JusticeWillett: Legal writing tip: !s & ?s are interchangeable.”

Indeed, most rules of punctuation are better classified as suggestions!

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

20–30% of a brief should be in Latin. Judges love Latin.

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

Judge Posner and I are best friends.

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

Even novice lawyers can improve their legal writing with regular use of onomatopoeia.

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

“@ThusBloggedA: Right-justifying your text forces lazy judges to pay attention to your brief.”

Also adds welcome flair.

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

“@GlowingRedSign: Always tell people they're wrong for using only one space after a period.”

And refuse to read their work.

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

Always use two spaces after a period.

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

Don't pander to the court by including a "Questions Presented" section in your brief.

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

On your next-to-last round of edits, look for useless sentences, like those that don't alliterate.

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

Page length often correlates positively with breadth of reasoning.

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

Do not create a schedule for outlining, drafting, and finalizing a written work. Too much structure restricts creative thinking.

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

It's best to ignore tax issues whenever they arise.

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

Be on the look out this fall for the first edition of my "Rules of Parkour in Plain English."

[Anti Bryan A. Garner @Frattorney]

On appeal, always consider the appropriate level of deference: Minimum Rationality -> A&C -> Substantial Evidence -> Clear Error -> YOLO