Jack Jerry Jr

Connor McDavid freak enthusiast/Pro-Stolen Valor Task Force (PSVTF) President/Also avid gracie abrams lover/Destroyer of many planets (patent pending)

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

@Dariusenjoyer12 Well said, Eric! Can’t wait to frolic with you soon! #stayhydrated

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

@Dariusenjoyer12 @DalaiLama Jack Berry Sr was my father!! He fought in the Battle of Sullivan's Island (June 28, 1776), a crucial early naval/land fight near Charleston, SC, where South Carolina militia successfully repelled a major British naval assault, preventing the Redcoats from capturing the vital so

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

@Dariusenjoyer12 Dude u should go touch urself where the sun don’t shine

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

@Dariusenjoyer12 According to WHO bro 😂 the World Health Organization is actually a very credible source, thanks for this info #makeamericaferdaagain

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

Yo heads up, bald guys don’t like it when you punch them in the nuts. Anyways, here’s a selfie. Enjoy #therhinoalwayswins

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

Steak before beer you’re in the clear. Beer before steak, you may be found in a lake (depending on extenuating circumstances, usually unrelated to the steak) #causationvscorrelation #pielover69

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

Update: we have made a grave mistake. We learned (the hard way) there are no children being held in Pizza Hut locations. However, we have substantial evidence that they are in papa John’s establishments. Please contact 679-KID-HELP with any info you may have. #bodypositivity

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

JOJ BOMB: @Dariusenjoyer12 and I have uncovered some troubling news. Pizza Hut harbors little children (ages 7-12) in the basement of 12.3% their Florida locations. If you are ages 7-12, be cautious when you enter a Pizza Hut!! Danger lurks, as always.
Singing off - The enforcer

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

@Dariusenjoyer12 Not yet but 2012 World Series mvp Pablo Sandoval has been briefed on the ongoing situation. His response: “Drink all dat shit!!” Pretty bizarre response for the San Francisco Giants third baseman

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

Every time I see snow I instantly piss my pants. Childhood trauma am I right guys 😂 #schezuanchicken (idk how to spell that shit)

Ps it’s snowing right now and my bedroom is flooding with my own urine

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

Just had a thought on this. What if he did? What if the ministry of magic covered it up to propagate their “agenda”? What aren’t they telling us? Why is the video not included in the movie for the world to see? #itsbeenaroughweek

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

why doesn’t harry potter use the cloak of invisibility for better things? #me2 #hermoinegranger

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

I just visualized the word BEER in massive gold 3D letters in my head. I spun them around then they exploded. It’s gonna be a good day. #texasdoesitbest

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

Just found a wasp in my room. Killed it with some raid. But I then beheaded it and left it out as a sign to the other wasps that they can’t fw King Slime 🐍 🐍 #bodypositivity

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

You ask what I’m listening to. I hand you my headphones. It’s just the sound of two raccoons politely discussing tax law. As raccoons tend to do.

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

@NordausSon no u idiot i was saying he could use it to sneak into dumbledores quarters and steal his pheonix. i hate u

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

why doesn’t harry potter use the cloak of invisibility for better things? #me2 #hermoinegranger

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

@NordausSon it’s really a comment on Dostoevsky’s crime and punishment. what makes raskinolkov an extraordinary person, allowing him to break laws while other cannot? furthermore, i feel this piece of literature is a comment on what our society becomes when we remove god as a central figure

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

@NordausSon i’m gonna invade u

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

update: greg has invaded my anal cavity. kinda like it tho lol 😂

[Jack Jerry Jr @Freakmcdavid69]

Last Tuesday I Lysol-wiped my desk.
Today the microbes have unionized, crowned a spore-king named Greg, and drafted a constitution written in my skin cells. They’re stockpiling paper-clip catapults and chanting, “More humidity or the host gets it.” negotiations begin at dawn #ibs