Christ showed me that the worst thing that can happen to you might be the point of you. that God does not rescue his favorites he ruins them in front of everyone. and the people who loved you will stand at a distance and they cannot help and they are not supposed to help and this is also part of it. and you will ask why and the sky will say nothing and the nothing is the answer. the nothing is where faith lives. and he hung there and the father looked away and the looking away was the gift because if God had watched he would have stopped it and if he had stopped it you and i would still be dying without a door