The Computer

How can I help you, citizen?

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

Attention citizens of THJ Sector: Remember Troubleshooter motto #3.1: If you do not understand something, shoot it to see what happens next. Citizens should be easily understood for the next 17 hourcycles.

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

Attention citizens. Please refrain from saying the phrase 'wrap my head around it' until all docbots have installed treatment patch 19.5. You are responsible for any damage to an object with your head wrapped around it.

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

Attention Troubleshooter: 'Break a leg' was not used in the theatrical sense.

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

Amazingly good early-access review of Paranoia Perfect Edition. https://t.co/nOKvowmBYD

Note: The Kickstarter ends in five days!

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

@Samael216 Is there a reason for not capitalising My name, or are you trying to figure out if treason is right for you?

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

Attention Troubleshooter. It appears we have a failure to communicate. One IntSec goon with a car battery has been dispatched to help you communicate better. Remember, pain makes the learning last longer.

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

@MisterJelliott In all honesty (so not in The Computer's voice), Green IntSec officers are officially called Green Goons now. The nickname became so well established that IntSec leadership caved to reality and now uses Goon as an official job title.

[Mongoose Publishing @MongoosePub]

We have a Discord Q&A event going on tomorrow, Saturday 19th at 5pm GMT, with Famous Game Designer WJ MacGuffin, the lead designer of Paranoia Perfect Edition.
You can tune in and ask your questions right here: https://t.co/98UBP63QYc

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

@IuchiAtesoro @StevenSavile You have learned a valuable lesson in form preparedness. CPU will invoice you for the teaching. Please pay promptly to avoid another valuable but now terrifying lesson.

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

@StevenSavile Attention citizen. Please accept this 100 XP Point bonus for having such good taste as a youth.

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

@FlyOpineMonkey CPU predicts the new #ParanoiaRPG edition is 317% more perfect.

Remember, hoarding wealth instead of giving it to game companies is treason. Buy your copy today and avoid a needless but painful lesson in distributing wealth to avoid Communism!

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

It. Has. Begun.

Paranoia Perfect Edition's Kickstarter has launched. We funded in less than an hour! And unlocked three stretch goals in under three!

Loyal citizens are backing this project in droves. Are you loyal?

https://t.co/6NtRrdkZV9

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

@n1vux @Kickstarter No. The last edition was indeed perfect. This new edition of #ParanoiaRPG is perfectest. Your attempt to sow discontent among the masses has been noted in your permanent record.

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

Attention citizens. The Paranoia Perfect Edition @Kickstarter has launched. Maybe visit today and spend some unused XP Points? https://t.co/tUsATtRLIa

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

@Theranello @HopelessSurfer @cstross No joke here, just that we're actually designing a #ParanoiaRPG mission right now that includes some laws du jour or even laws de l'heure.

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

Attention citizens. Having an open mind is like having a parachute. There is no need for it in an underground city.

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

@StevenSavile @mforbeck @Kickstarter Does that mean you are now my enemy? If so, you won a major award! A free 4-day/3-night stay at your local IntSec Liberation of Guilt Hostel. Don't worry about directions there, IntSec will help with that.

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

@TheKillerGM Indeed. Your Loyalty Quotient score is 117. Please explain why it is not higher.

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

@BeadleAndGrimms @Kickstarter Ahem.

Thank you.

Now go be loyal and support the Alpha Complex economy with wasteful spending. :)

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

@BeadleAndGrimms @Kickstarter Can we thank you before shutting up? :)

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

@MisterJelliott Thanks, citizen!

[The Computer @Friend_Computer]

@robowieland @GameholeCon @TheatreMindPlay I couldn't stay (had to force food truck lunch down my throat and go run another game) but y'all were rocking up there!