Dr. Zachary Morris

Can be found most friday nights washing my pet Cobra, Tanya.

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

I feel sorry for all pregnant women right now. You're all bringing a child into a world where 'Whitney' exists. What an awful, awful show.

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

http://t.co/9YFLes6h

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

I have been to London, I have been to Paris, I have been to LA, I have see two cats fuck. Do I need to better myself?

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

Cant sleep... So. Much... Hate...

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

Having sex with a guy with a girls name is exactly the same as having sex with a girl with a guys name... Right?

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

Principle Bellding... Get it? Bell... Ding...??? WOW Saved by the Bell 20 years on and I'm still learning!!!

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

Killed a tramp and assumed his identity. Not... not the best move I've made this week...

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

I can't wait till the day we can torrent clothes

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

Me: "Please, take whatever you want, but not my life size cut out of AC Slater" *kidnaps wife and children* "OH THANK GOD" *SBTB theme hits*

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

#DontComeToMyHouse If you don't want to trade Pokemon cards or trade sexual diseases

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

Think trimming your ball 'fro to reveal that extra 1/2inch of penis you forgot you had is the best feeling ever? Then I demand you high 5 me

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

*walks in gym* *puts Pokemon theme on repeat* BENCHES 1000 IBS "Sir please leave you are intimidating everyone"

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

Icebergs weigh the same as 2 weeks of my happiness :D lololol joke I hate myself

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

I enjoy @fart tweets so much whenever poo particles pass through my bum hole I yell "I JUST JON HENDREN'D" and spontaneously break dance

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

My friend once was cutting onions and got told his mummy got ate by a mysterious wolf and he still didn't cry

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

Today I rode a unicorn named "Qwdddgefv" and he was really quite rude

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

@fart I hope your name was fart on Pokemon games *fart has caught a level 2 pidgey* lol fart

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

I think that if we give cats the right mix of drugs they will evolve *unless you tap B repeatedly*

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

I wonder what Tom Selleck was before he evolved? I think he was clean shaven

[Dr. Zachary Morris @FuckUncle]

My ideal pokè fight would be a level 99 Tom Selleck against a level 2 pidgey