John

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

Day 1 and I've already managed to turn off two alarms with no recollection of doing so.

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

Just found out that getting paid to go clubbing is a valid career path. Bye bye college!

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

@MichaelaHelm9 Curse? I think you mean thank.

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

Just realized that two out of the past three movies I've seen featured main characters that didn't speak any words...

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

Why do all the songs I'm listening to have bird noises in them? #stfubirds

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

You know what's the best? Graphs with no labels. #fucklazygraphmakers

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

New life goal: Convince everyone I know that headphones should be considered a commodity. #vitaltotrade

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

"Gabe is my favorite on the floor" - @cara_chriss, @etoumey, at Adrian

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

@MichaelaHelm9 Slander!

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

If I was an evil musician I'd subtly insert the sound a vibrating phone into my music to make all my listeners think they'd gone crazy.

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

You know it's a good day when you get to make a dick joke in the metric system. #1.5decimeters

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

Watch out for yetis on your way to class today. I hear the excessively early snow draws them down from the mountains. #purdueyetiproblem

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

Well, my human popsicle costume is complete. Too bad I wasn't planning on dressing up this year. #frozensolid

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

Just heard someone use the phrase "We could use Wordart." #pleasedont

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

Well, my whole room smells like donuts now... So that's a plus.

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

@CoopPell Come to your damn room!

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

Tour group walks by, looking up how to break a combination lock on youtube. #notshadyatall

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

@sarahvolk @cara_chriss I'm so jealous. Also hungry.

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

@cara_chriss Only if I actually get to see you. Then you're cool.

[John @Fuckyoujohn_]

Hey @cara_chriss. I hear you're visiting soon.