Fun AP Stylebook

Don't use semicolons after 3pm

[Jon Savitt @savittj]

hello I wrote a little humor book it makes a fun gift ok thanks
https://t.co/zONYgNONBf

[The American Bystander @BystanderTweets]

https://t.co/RaofDMJccT

[Jon Savitt @savittj]

why is it called passover and not breadxit

[Jon Savitt @savittj]

if all the quarterbacks on a team get injured rihanna has to play

[Jon Savitt @savittj]

big “thank you for coming to my bar mitzvah” vibes

[Jon Savitt @savittj]

waiting for the spy balloon to come to your state like a parade float

[Jon Savitt @savittj]

one more and he should get nickelodeon slimed

[Jon Savitt @savittj]

at this point celebrating the new year feels like actively cheering for the person who is about to bully you

[Jon Savitt @savittj]

remember: if you’re in line when the polls close & you hear someone ordering a vanilla latte then you are in a starbucks not your polling place

[Jon Savitt @savittj]

“jews run everything” ok then why don’t I have health care

[Jon Savitt @savittj]

all student loans should be forgiven and also while we’re at it I think there should be like 10 or 11 colleges - there are too many colleges

[Jon Savitt @savittj]

mass shootings

[Jon Savitt @savittj]

we should get to vote people out of congress using the same technology they use to ask the audience in who wants to be a millionaire

[Jon Savitt @savittj]

I’m too tired to spontaneously meet up with people, you have to give me a week’s notice like restaurant reservations

[Jon Savitt @savittj]

I've been saying this

[Jon Savitt @savittj]

not to get political but at the end of the state of the union the president should get Nickelodeon slimed

[Jon Savitt @savittj]

vampire weekend is what I call it when I don’t plan on leaving the apartment

[Jon Savitt @savittj]

imagine having to exercise on a sunday night

[Jon Savitt @savittj]

midwest people will hang outside in 10 degree weather and be like “at least the sun is out”

[MPR News @MPRnews]

Minnesota-based comedian @savittj aspired to be an NBA player when he was a kid, but instead — he ended up writing a comedy show about his story. His interview with @CathyWurzer on his show “King of the Court” 👑����👇
https://t.co/d71lDJ2U0k