marky mark

Creative, cockney, comedy writer.
Stick a tenner on me to appear on the Brits and/or Crimewatch in the future.. :)

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

spent ages looking in loads of different shops for a porno mag, and couldn't find one anywhere................what's the world cumming to?

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

Check out www.conjunctivitus.com.

It's a site for sore eyes......

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

Me and the mrs have had our up's and downs but to make things up, she's booked me a on a scuba-diving course in Sharm El Sheikh.....

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

I took the shell off my racing snail to make him more aerodynamic and faster. It didn't work - if anything, it's made him more sluggish....

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

Spent the afternoon by the mrs's grave.........she doesn't know, she thinks I'm digging a pond.

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

Just got home to find all my doors & windows smashed in and everything gone!
I'm gutted...........it was my favourite advent calender.

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

Me and the mrs have a very traditional relationship: I go out to work to earn the money, and she pretends to be asleep when I want sex...

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

is set for life financially.......as long as I die next wednesday.

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

tired and a sore knee after running the Lea Valley charity 5k this morning. Chillin' with the fam for the rest of laaaaaaazy sunday arvo :)

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

wonders if professional faeces inspector, Gillian Mckeith wil appreciate the turd I'm gonna post to her for being a miserable hag?

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

MOTD than back to the writing. Got some good sketch ideas brewing in my nut... :)

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

@TSCollymore
Take it from someone who's accidently rubbed his eyes after eating one, a faal definitely exists mate!! Ouuuuuuuuch....

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

Spurs 3, Goons 2....Get the fooooooook in!
'Appy days :)

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got...

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/clips/p00c7fgq/spout_strictly_gone_bonkers//getClip

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

Mrs has gone out, so I'm watching Children In Need.

I've locked the kids in the garden with no clothes on....

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

day consists of writing new material, looking for sneakers to add to my collection, but first...........CAFE!

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

@RobbieSavage8
Hahahaha, Sav you ledge! Southgate is proper beaky.... I'm going for a 2-2 draw.

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

Come on England! We can batter the snail munching, surrender monkies!
*nothing like a bit of xenophobia to stir the blood*

[marky mark @FunnyMarkW]

in Stratford, East London's answer to Beirut!
All those hours spent on Call of Duty may just come in handy.....