FunnyMood

I AM AWESOMENESS.. jokes and funny stuff on twitter.. follow me, you wont regret it! DO RT @worstpickup

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

الاشه مقصودي ويتوقعوا ونطري حرسيكم

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

So much has changed since my girl told me she’s pregnant….

My phone number, my email, mu address, my Instagram.

#icebucketchallenge #abortion #prolife #notreally #AmloLaVerguenzaDeMexico #donttellamyiminmexico #becauseimnotinmexico #notreally #imnothighatall

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

I invented a new word:

Plagiarism!

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

Be yourself.. But if you can be batman, be batman.

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

Stop all the vagina jokes. Period.

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

Gay jokes aren't funny, cum on guys.

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

I was in math class and my teacher asked "what comes after 69?" Apparently "I do" is not the correct answer

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

Man - Do you like to dance?
Woman - Yes !
Man - Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

BITCH I'LL BURN THIS MOTHER FU*KER TO THE GROUND NOW WHERE IS IT? Sir, calm down your toy is under the McNuggets.

[Funny tweets™ @laugh_omg]

Alcohol is not the answer

Alcohol is the question, yes is the answer

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

Indeed. “@laugh_omg: True”

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

Poking holes in your parents condoms so there's someone else to do the dishes.

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

Boobs

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

-Why are you clapping?
-to scare the unicorns
-what unicorns???
-see??? It works!!

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

"Coke please!" "Is Pepsi ok?" "Is monopoly money ok?"

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

I watch pom. You misread that.

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

Why are kids obese? Maybe because Burgers are $.99, & Salads are $4.99.

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

[FunnyMood @FunnyMood]

My parents accused me of being a liar. I looked them in the face & said, "tooth fairy, Santa, Easter bunny." & walked away like a boss.