FutureTrumpTweets

Tomorrow's tweets today. #trumpdictable

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

Yesterday’s ruling is a big win for North Carolina—and for all of us. Voters should choose their representatives, not the other way around. This win is proof that change is always within our reach, on gerrymandering, voting rights, and much more.

[FutureTrumpTweets @FutureTrumpTwe1]

I don’t often try to be “the comforter-in-chief but we should all feel sorry for the fire at the University of Notre Dame. No worries, they’ll have a great season anyway. Go, Fighting Irish!

[FutureTrumpTweets @FutureTrumpTwe1]

I’m happy to announce that either Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham or Judge Jeannie will be Secretary of Homeland Security, depending on who wins the cage death match. This is gonna be hot! MAGA!

[FutureTrumpTweets @FutureTrumpTwe1]

FAKE NEWS! I didn’t say asylum seekers ARE animals. I said a lot of them OWN animals. You know, dogs and cats. Get it right, media! #bizarroworld

[FutureTrumpTweets @FutureTrumpTwe1]

Trust me, wind turbines cause cancer. So does releasing your tax returns. Everyone says so. MAGA!

[FutureTrumpTweets @FutureTrumpTwe1]

Republicans will always support Pre-Existing Conditions. Like I’ve always said it’s your right as an American to be as sick as you want.

[FutureTrumpTweets @FutureTrumpTwe1]

Coal is our only choice! Wind power only works when it’s windy, and solar power drains the sun. Thank God for beautiful coal. #sciencerules

[FutureTrumpTweets @FutureTrumpTwe1]

The GOP will be the party of healthcare, as long as you already have it. #shouldhavebeenbornrich

[FutureTrumpTweets @FutureTrumpTwe1]

Can you imagine how awful it must be to be married to someone who lies and says mean things about people all the time? Dump him, Kellyanne! #ironychallenged

[FutureTrumpTweets @FutureTrumpTwe1]

I mean, I approved his funeral and everything! Would it have killed the guy to say thank you? But, no, he just laid there and didn’t say a word. So sad!

[FutureTrumpTweets @FutureTrumpTwe1]

Tomorrow, I will sign another Emergency Order calling for a nuclear first strike on Saturday Night Live unless Alec Baldwin turns himself in to be tried for treason. I hate that pooched out thing he does with my lips. I don’t do that. Fake! #notfunny

[FutureTrumpTweets @FutureTrumpTwe1]

To clarify for the FAKE NEWS media, when I tweeted that SNL should be BANNED, what I meant is anything that doesn't come out of my head or my mouth should be considered against the law. Is that so extreme? I think not. Everyone says so.

[FutureTrumpTweets @FutureTrumpTwe1]

FAKE NEWS ALERT! I wasn't insulting Adam Schitt! I mean, Schiff. That would be DEMEANING to the dignity of the office. I just have fat fingers! Look at where the T and the F are on the keyboard! #juniorhighfunny

[FutureTrumpTweets @FutureTrumpTwe1]

For the record, I didn't not attend that dead soldier thing because the rain would have played HELL with my hair. It was because it would have made my bronzer run. So, again, the FAKE NEWS doesn't know what it's talking about!! https://t.co/MVjHecUtEl

[FutureTrumpTweets @FutureTrumpTwe1]

Once again the FAKE MEDIA is treating me unfairly by quoting what I say and reporting what I do. Outrageous!

[FutureTrumpTweets @FutureTrumpTwe1]

You know how I said I wouldn’t pay off on my Pocahontas bet with Elizabeth Warren unless I did the DNA testing myself? In retrospect, wow, that was creepy even for me. #whoopsmybad

[FutureTrumpTweets @FutureTrumpTwe1]

It could have been rogue killers. Maybe even Mexican rogue killers. Or Muslim rogue killers. Or Colin Kaepernick. Or that 400-pound hacker. You don’t know. So why should I know? #theliberalmobdidit

[FutureTrumpTweets @FutureTrumpTwe1]

He went in and hasn’t come out. But that doesn’t mean the Saudis murdered that guy. Maybe he’s vacationing in there! Or hiding because he doesn’t want to get married! STOP RUSHING TO JUDGE! There are fine people on both sides. #besideshewasjustajournalist

[FutureTrumpTweets @FutureTrumpTwe1]

Wooo! We finally got the Supreme Court back. Ladies, the changes to your rights will begin in ... 3,2,1 ...

[FutureTrumpTweets @FutureTrumpTwe1]

Newsflash to the FAKE NEWS media. My dad didn’t give me most of my money. And i didnt dodge tax laws. And the moon is, in fact, made of cheese. Believe me. I’ve been there. I have a golf course there. #itsnotalieifyoubelieveit