[ pf ]*

writer, performer, bricoleur, and heresiarch
parody of myself?
tweets may contain irony, satire, whimsy, caprice…
he/him/who?
other details where you'd expect

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

What?

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

@instagram: 'This feature isn't available on computers, but it is available on these devices.'
🤯
sweetheart, cupcake, gumdrop, muffin…
all of those devices are fucking computers.

precisely how stupid are you?

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

these trendy nitrate-free PMs are all very well
but they just don’t last like the old fashioned kind that gave you cancer

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

it’s a miracle!
they turned water into whine…

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

happy #solstice to all who celebrate!
🍷⚗️🕯️🧙‍♂️💖
‘it’s going to be a very long night’

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

Beetlejuice Sydney run cancelled! 😢

[Randy Rainbow @RandyRainbow]

If Donald Jessica gets a sequel, so do I.

Happy 250th, America. 🇺🇸🙄🧠

#VeryStableGenius #PartTwo #parody

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

any guy on X who isn't hairy is AI. 😏

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

Happy Gay Pide! 🏳️‍🌈💃👠💋👜😬

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

they* don't write them like this anymore…
*except @cincopedia 😬
https://t.co/bHDMug8A9t

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

Because it’s June!
June—June—June—
Jest because it’s June—June—June!
🤭
oh Oscar II, you ol' hack…

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

who else in NSW misread the @smh headline 'Switch Shock: Aldo Resigns…' and thought was the budget that bad?
🤣 #auspol

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

the complete morons at @qantas sent me a survey
that was fun.
no truthful answers were given.
👿

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

if your heart sinks like mine when I see one,
PDF stands for 'Please Don't, Ffs'…
#PDF

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

don't forget to report ads for AI as Impersonation
😬

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

Gutenburger:
burger with a gluten-free bun that tastes like old newsprint

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

surely the headline should be "Book of Mormon on Broadway temporarily closed by act of God?"
🤭😇

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

⚠️
remember to report ads for AI as profanity or illegal products.

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

@BelvoirSt - a word for your Drive your plows cast?
💝
PS: have a great last week

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

solastalgia | noun | sadness or melancholy due to environmental loss

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

the Chicago Manual of Style recommends…
🎶
give ‘em the old razzle dazzle.

[[ pf ]* @FyfePeter]

Hey @Apple
the Broadway version of that show you cancelled just got 12 Tony Award nominations...
maybe time to rethink a 3rd season?
#Schmigadoon