GCS

For jobs follow @GCSjobsfeed and for news follow @ThisisGCS

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

What ARE men's nipples for? Do ducks dream of space exploration? Can sausages hate?

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

There's something inherently sad about a man sitting alone, writing a corporate social media account, crying.

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

Sending your Championship Manager CV to football clubs is one thing. Sending your best Lego castle to an architect's office is another.

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

We've got Bono doing work experience in the office today. He refuses to take off his sunglasses. He keeps bumping into the photocopiers.

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

Many Americans wrongly believe that the whole Wimbledon tournament is merely a viral teaser for a new season of Downton Abbey.

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

Put your life boat into dry dock. Scrape off the barnacles of reservation and reseal your career hull with the tar of transferable skills.

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

As a teenager I went to Glastonbury. I had a great time but learnt very few transferable skills.

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

I'm trying to explain cricket to Joe, our fictional American intern. "It's like a cross between baseball and the final season of Lost."

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

Plant your flag on the crest of Hope Mountain and realise your dreams know no horizon. Alternatively, scan the mail as ordered by your boss.

[Arena Flowers @ArenaFlowers]

Mothers.

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

Release your life hounds and hunt down the fox of advancement. Watch from your success stallion as your pack rips opportunity to shreds.

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

Debate your life bill in the parliament of progress. Avoid the filibuster of frustration and yield the floor to the speaker of success.

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

In this hot weather, remember to carry your butter in a tupperware box rather than putting it directly into your pockets.

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

It's too hot to be wearing the compulsory GCS Recruitment Twitter account uniform (An old Mr Wimpy costume with the smile painted over)

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

I never met my father. Knowing he was a top chef just rubs rock salt, fresh rosemary and a pinch of ground cumin into the wound.

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

Saturday! The summer sun beats down remorselessly, like a drunken yob prodding you in the chest, shouting "Why aren't you at a barbecue?"

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

In the duck pond of career, you are a determination drake. Preen the downy feathers of fortitude with your persistence beak.

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

Every time a social media professional uses the word “synergy”, a pixie loses access to her LinkedIn profile.
#Socialdayuk

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

Craft beer! Triple cooked chips! Wild boar cheeks served on a wooden slab! Whatever happened to the post offices of my youth?

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

I'm still in the office. The owls have turned against me, blocking all the exits and hooting about "loyalty". I hate owls.

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

Reward your diligence with a family sized bucket of brilliance nuggets. Ingest the reclaimed meat of motivation and vomit accomplishment.