GD_Wisdom

Our graphic designer has quirky -isms. They have to be shared.

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

Schools are so hard to get into these days. Those waiting lists for kids are crazy! When I get pregnant, I’m gonna start enrolling my embryo into schools.

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

That girl was so bad, she needed a whole bunch of whoopins. Like, everyone gets in a long line and she just walks through a giant paddling.

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

So then they put their genitals together. And she got pregnant! 🙄

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

Black people don’t wrinkle. We just droop. If you see old black people, they just look droopy.

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

Did I tell you that a lady fell on my mom at church and broke her back?? It wasn’t a funeral or anything, just normal church!

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

I didn’t believe that there were lots of Asians in CA, but there ARE!

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

Y’all, Tony Bennett. I felt like I knew him. This is so weird. I’m listening to him right now. I’ll wrap myself in his songs all day. If you see a report of a black woman rolling around in sheet music on the highway just know it’s for a good cause.

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

(Golden Girls gif posted in group text) That’s the episode where she throws her back out trying to impress a younger man. I could win GG trivia. I’m such a fan!

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

I walk the line of strange and impressive daily. It’s my super power.

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

I can’t with women who don’t wear bras. Just bind them! Bind them up, Jesus! I wish I could write a script for a bra commercial.

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

Do you remember when I prank called our friend at work? I used a country accent and told her that I drank our night cream. My real results were internal so I called to figure out how to get my pictures over to her… She was so confused!

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

As the scripture says, “My yoke is...light? And my burden is...” Oh I don’t know what that scripture is. I don’t even know what it means!

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

Y'all I was digging through my purse at church and found an apple. 🤦🏾‍♀️What a hot mess.

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

This year I'm going to work on my maturity level despite the fact that over the holiday I almost called a missing persons hotline pretending to be Enrique Iglesias’ mole. If they asked where I was, I was going to explain that I was in a lab in Argentina suffering persecution.

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

She can't fool me. I'm too old of a cat to be skinned by a heifer!

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

Me: Do we still need to meet tomorrow?
GDW: No, not unless you'd like to get together and discuss the good news of Jesus!

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

The spirit of packratness is on my dad. I tell him to cast it off!

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

If that happens again, I'm going to pull all of my eyebrows out and just leave them at the foot of the cross!

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

If I had a list of people I thought were aliens, she'd be on it.

[GD_Wisdom @GD_Wisdom]

I wonder why having kids ages women so much. Maybe it's from all the pushing.