Gordon “Banquet Bomb” Bombay

Just a special fella tweeting special wisdom

[Gordon “Banquet Bomb” Bombay @GJackAdamsBomb]

Some girl asked me “If you were a cake what cake would you be”
I had to take a second to think but I told her I’d be a black forest cake bc I’m a native fella from from the forest but I’m also black below the belt.
#noneedforexpand

[Gordon “Banquet Bomb” Bombay @GJackAdamsBomb]

@RickyVaughn69 Wander Franco?

[Gordon “Banquet Bomb” Bombay @GJackAdamsBomb]

Enough to make a grown man cry
#expand
#theresatearrunningdownmyleg

[Gordon “Banquet Bomb” Bombay @GJackAdamsBomb]

The chick asks me to hangout, excellent. I ask her “what you thinkin” she offers a hike. I mean cmon, what happened to shrek 2 and anal.
#chivilryisdead
#hoesbetrippin

[Gordon “Banquet Bomb” Bombay @GJackAdamsBomb]

@RickyVaughn69 Groomsman circle jerk?

[Gordon “Banquet Bomb” Bombay @GJackAdamsBomb]

#fancylikeapplebees

[Gordon “Banquet Bomb” Bombay @GJackAdamsBomb]

Let’s just John Lennon “Imagine”
A world with 4 dollar beers
50 dollar grams
8 dollar packs
And no cover
Bring me back?

[Gordon “Banquet Bomb” Bombay @GJackAdamsBomb]

Fun little fact, White Snake is my name down at the crazy cougar club

[Gordon “Banquet Bomb” Bombay @GJackAdamsBomb]

@halldagoat @tmh342 @iranian_nailgun @TimothyJones92 You look like death warmed over, you make me lose my fuckin appetite.

[Gordon “Banquet Bomb” Bombay @GJackAdamsBomb]

Toilet paper is a woke mind virus scam, I promise you there was no tp a thousands years ago, back when men were real man. Testosterone Hack: let it crust over and make sure everyone can smell your manliness.

#stayhard #staycrusty

[Gordon “Banquet Bomb” Bombay @GJackAdamsBomb]

I firmly believe in equality

#aprilfools

[Gordon “Banquet Bomb” Bombay @GJackAdamsBomb]

Nothing like being in a room full of 5s, unfortunately the math doesn’t agree with taking multiple. 3 5s equals 6.5/10, that shit depreciates exponentially

[Gordon “Banquet Bomb” Bombay @GJackAdamsBomb]

Why are mushrooms fun to party with? Because they’re a funGI
#legalizeshrooms #godblessthemagicmushroominthesky

[Gordon “Banquet Bomb” Bombay @GJackAdamsBomb]

Nagasaki has nothing on what my toilet just experienced #nomorebutterchicken #ihaveaburnintringoffire

[Gordon “Banquet Bomb” Bombay @GJackAdamsBomb]

In the streets they call me brown sugar, in your moms teepee they call me chief longstick. I keep my funny up bc I know the governments gonna keep my money up.
#teepeecreepin #deadlyuncle

[Gordon “Banquet Bomb” Bombay @GJackAdamsBomb]

Tim Hortons and big toilet and big toilet paper in on it together. Tim’s makes me shit my guts out and break the bowl as well as ruin a roll of tp, BAM gotta buy a new toilet and TPs feeling scarce like covid all over again.

[Gordon “Banquet Bomb” Bombay @GJackAdamsBomb]

Yall ever run out of floss so you gotta pluck and pube and use that because you scared of your dentist?#fuckthedentist #shefineashellthough #mybushhurts

[Gordon “Banquet Bomb” Bombay @GJackAdamsBomb]

Wearing this shit to bed, lemme bus a nut on yo mom. She be calling me Ninja Creami