Garrett Kallenbach

Wrapping up a 20 year study of the history of juice, mostly fruit. Next up: change purses. I mean coin purses. I don't need to change purses. I don't - Skip it.

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

Do me a favor. Don't dump sprinkles on an elephant turd and tell me it's a healthcare reform sundae.
#AHCA #Trumpcare #healthcare #GOP

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

So wait, now it's the old people who are going to pay for the wall? I'm confused. #YouveBeenTrumped

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

...and so the little wooden-headed puppet boy never did find out what it was like to become a real, live despot.

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

My upcoming memoir will be a harrowing saga – "Travels with the Half-Wit Shitheads: My Life as an Arizona Commuter". #SignalBeforeYouHitMe

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

@Limeylizzie How's by you, dollink?

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

@Limeylizzie Howdy! Just playing a little twitter hookie, like how Edison took mini naps on his workbench. But without the inventing part.

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

The real game ender: When Carson was shown a photo of West Point & he identified it as "that place where Santa makes all the toys" #BenCrazy

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

#JebCanFixIt

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

@Limeylizzie @jensonperson That's not just food, that's flippin' architecture.

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

You can judge the quality of a fast food place by noting how long it takes 2 realize you've taken a bite of wrapper along with your sandwich

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

@Limeylizzie Moths are WAYcreepier. Nocturnal, chalky-winged, fluttery, jittery, fuzzy, casting-huge-shadows-on-the-wall motherfuckers. Yech

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

@Limeylizzie I actually preferred the bees to the moths. The bees kept to the bath the moths found the AC system so throughout the house.

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

@Limeylizzie twitter would only let me post the last half of the vid. It starts with me opening the door with no idea what I'm going to see.

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

@Limeylizzie No video of the moths, however. By that time I was pretty much over it. And yeah it's blessed hot. Winters though are splendid.

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

@Limeylizzie I guessed 250 bees, the bee guy said no, more like 2k. Once the bees were gone the moths came. A few K of those as well.

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

@Limeylizzie So yeah I like Phoenix proper. Living in Peoria was like an episode of Land of the Lost coupled with the Flintstones.

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

@Limeylizzie That's my master bath. It started small, then escalated. This was shot AFTER the bee removers came the first time. #beemageddon

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

@Limeylizzie Did I tell u my bee story? @ my 1st AZ house. The world has a bee shortage & I'm up to my neck in 'em.

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

@Limeylizzie Yeah! It's a big change from Chicago. Where I am now is 500% better than the gravel pit I lived in when I first moved here.

[Garrett Kallenbach @GK2nist]

@Limeylizzie I'm in Phoenix proper now, into this place. This is not my house, just the street leading up to it.