Garrett Evans

Skys the limit

[Garrett Evans @GTE__]

The one hodge you don't kill

[Garrett Evans @GTE__]

Some people just need to be Spartan kicked down the well

[Garrett Evans @GTE__]

There's a bad egg in every batch

[Garrett Evans @GTE__]

Gym rat

[Garrett Evans @GTE__]

I've never seen two guys so concerned watching teen mom @JacobAbbott1

[Garrett Evans @GTE__]

I would like to thank my friend @MKrezmer_RUTF17 for introducing me to bacon cheese frys way back when

[Garrett Evans @GTE__]

"Your moms a milf and I'm a mother fucker" should of retweeted that

[Garrett Evans @GTE__]

Counting the days

[Garrett Evans @GTE__]

If I won 1 million dollars I would just tell them to covert it to food

[Garrett Evans @GTE__]

@delaneycarey can you make me some chocolate chip pancakes

[Garrett Evans @GTE__]

This shit you find on YouTube..

[Garrett Evans @GTE__]

Wonder how many drugs you honestly have to take to convince your self that your oven is a time machine

[Cloyd Rivers @CloydRivers]

Went lookin' for a Tine date. Seen a lonely gal, whistled & said,"Usually I hunt bucks, not sluts, but wanna drink shine & be my Valentine?"

[Garrett Evans @GTE__]

Majority vote wins. You lose

[Garrett Evans @GTE__]

Majority vote wins. You loose

[Cloyd Rivers @CloydRivers]

If Monday was a person, it would be a Croc wearin', Nickleback listenin', Prius drivin', unsweet tea drinkin' sissyboy. Merica.

[know @Know]

There's a love mattress specifically designed to help cuddles deal with that "awkward spooning arm" while cuddling.