Graeme

.my entire life is a lie. or is it?? ? .. ._ - _ .. - .. . . . 🐈‍⬛

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

I want my ringtone to be the sound of cats eating wet food

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

@KHOU .. sorry to see your station go off air… straight commercials for 10 minutes.
#whatashame

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

I don’t like lower case “r” s
They annoy me.
They just look weird.

r

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

All fruits and vegetables are $.25 if you just trim them in store and cut out the 1/4 man!
#justbringapeeler

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

Life is to short too be normal

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings?!

-It’s almost never for them..

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

@MaxBretosSports bring back rugby stuff!!!
..

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

Me saying hi!

…Fuck!

I’ll try next time.

#hi

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

@billburr .. showing your true colors.
Hope your family enjoys all that oily blood money.
Now youse don’t get stoned ova here!!!!
#sellout #jerseyboyinsaudi

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

@ManUtd How would we know!?!? Your glorious app stopped commentary in the middle of it.

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

@JennyJohnsonHi5 The Town is winning because it’s so great the 1st time, nobody owns the dvd.
Sleepers is losing because it’s depressing but damnit, it’s a really good twisted flick.
Bronx Tale is my vote.
It’s pure. It’s just got so my charisma and it’s, like the gangster Sandlot.

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

@StretfordPaddck Not a thing.

I will follow the Reds into the depths but who hasn’t seen this coming.
This club is run as efficiently as an asshole contest in Manchester, but with less contestants..

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

Going to go see @DeltaHeavyUK tonight.
It’s gonna be pure madness.
That’s all.
Cheers 🍺

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

Dry erase boards ….

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

Pet ants.
Not fulfilling.

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

Assaulted by a beachball.

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

I’m okay with being eaten alive by a crocodile, it would not bother me at all, but an alligator, No!
That’s crossing the line.

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

I enjoy giving my cat yummy canned food.

It gives nourishment, happy feelings, good digestion, + we bond

It might also sometimes smell revolting, attract rats, entice me to indulge in midnight snacks if it’s a delightful tuna medley & we eventually both get stoned on the nip..

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

#MUFC

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

Darn it.
Just when things were about to

[Graeme @G_Sizzler]

My sense of humor has been described as “oh god...” and “please stop this is a funeral”