The Rim Groper

I am D. B. Cooper, the Real Slim Shady.

[The Rim Groper @GardnerTycho]

@onelastaco Are you Gillian Anderson's kid? You look like you sprang out of Agent Dana Scully fully formed. Are you what the aliens impregnated her with, her own clone?

[The Rim Groper @GardnerTycho]

@peterdaou Greed.

Don't blame capitalism. I own my own business. I'm not interested in squeezing every cent out of every person I interact with.

I want to be happy, my workers, my clients too.

[The Rim Groper @GardnerTycho]

@mbbs_her What I see is a lack of 5.

[The Rim Groper @GardnerTycho]

@gymfuckery You can work different muscle groups with the same machine. Leave her alone dude bro. I was getting inspired.

[The Rim Groper @GardnerTycho]

@latestinspace Ogilvy, the astronomer, assured me we were in no danger.

'The chances of anything coming are about 400 to 1', but still they come!

[The Rim Groper @GardnerTycho]

@ThatEricAlper Myself and any one of half the ladies on Twitter showing themselves off.

[The Rim Groper @GardnerTycho]

@levicoralynn Excuse me for sharing my crass thought. I bet it is impossible for you to edge any guy. Fairly certain they explode as you walk by, as I would.

[The Rim Groper @GardnerTycho]

@ThatEricAlper An opportunity to watch it again before Lucas ruined it? Pro'ly the 230 Star Wars.

Plenty of time to not wake up until 1200, S,S,&S, grab lunch with the guys at the burger joint across the street.

Still have time after to go trawling for chicks after in my 68 Fastback.

[The Rim Groper @GardnerTycho]

@BreakingBadIrny How do it know?
It's gonna know.
But how?

[The Rim Groper @GardnerTycho]

@soogz1 Seggs is coo an all dat, but have you ever insulted someone on the intrawebz.

It's a real no-no. This is supposed to be a Safe Space.

[The Rim Groper @GardnerTycho]

@allEVehicles @EricksonJuell @ThatEricAlper Robert Van Winkle got in my head in 1990 and he hasn't left since. This little earworm is always low key playing in the background, along with Tap The Bottle (and twist the cap)

[The Rim Groper @GardnerTycho]

@ketamineghost @strunz_siggi @tragicbirdapp The pilots put the lander on the moon, not the computer.

[The Rim Groper @GardnerTycho]

@peterdaou

[The Rim Groper @GardnerTycho]

@ThatEricAlper

[The Rim Groper @GardnerTycho]

@tragicbirdapp She be the same kind of person who says if guys are under 5' 11", they need to hit the gym in order to get taller.

[The Rim Groper @GardnerTycho]

@UberFacts How were the numbers tortured to get these results?

Even going off of your provided "statistics," that is .003% of the population. Slip and fall deaths account for .02% of the population.

That is .017 larger, but nobody makes a peep about that.

[The Rim Groper @GardnerTycho]

@TheJennaLee_ Twitter is telling me I am number 922. Drop it like it's hot, drop it like it's hot.

[The Rim Groper @GardnerTycho]

@_Robbbbbbbbbbbb @GoodReddit What a nice secure place. I'm sure nothing bad ever happens there.

[The Rim Groper @GardnerTycho]

@POTUS Wage devaluation. No one will work half the jobs out there anymore.

The lack of compensation doesn't inspire the toleration of Karens.

It is still unemployment if people give up on being able to find a job with value. Corporate greed as CEOs try to outdo each other.