Gargoyle W. Slick

Contributor @WashingtonPost, formerly lobbyist for @Raytheon Foreign policy analyst, patriot & proud father of two valued customers at Vineyard Vines (parody)

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

Thanks @washingtonpost for allowing me to offer my very experienced and correct perspective on this issue

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

@CNN

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

@DanPickz2 @Dodgers This aged poorly

[Dr. Gibson McFück, Esq 🌐🇺🇦 @GibsonMcFuck]

Leave it to Bernie Sanders to center HIS voice right now, totally sidelining the valid lived experience of weapons lobbyists and billionaire corporate investors. The toxic left never disappoints.

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

@PeteButtigieg Yes! I support you 100%! #FeeltheButt

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

Feel the Bern? Nah, as a @Raytheon lobbyist, I am proud to support the candidate that offers me the highest returns on investment - @PeteButtigieg.
#FeeltheButt!!!

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

I mean this in a complimentary way of course. CIA-sponsored candidates are the bread and butter that holds democracies together

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

Juan Guaidó is just Venezuelan Pete Buttigieg

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

Juan Guaidó is just Venezuelan Pete Buttigieg

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

@GibsonMcFuck @proustmalone Stop tweeting mean things about Highly Respected pundits such as myself. Our opinions are better than yours.

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

@GibsonMcFuck As a fellow Respected Pundit, I generally hold you in high regard, but on this issue, you’re bowing to pressure from the radical leftists.

The War in Iraq was a good thing, and that’s why I lobbied for it (and got millions of dollars’ worth of @Raytheon stocks in return)

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

@LeftFlankVets @LooknCAFeelinMN Raising the value of our @Raytheon stocks is in the best interests of the American people because the extra money we get could then trickle down like acid rain to the rest of the American people.

Get with the program, lib!

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

@theintercept Unlike this guy, I am PROUD to be a #patriot, and by that I mean a @Raytheon shareholder

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

@kenklippenstein You know who supports Iran? Russia.
Leave it to the @Raytheon shareholders like myself who have no skin in the game to do the analysis, Ken, if that is even your real name! #RussianBot

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

@LooknCAFeelinMN @1stFka @ComicsNSans @Raytheon Lives are transitory, but net worths, of which mine has grown sizeably in the past few days thanks to @Raytheon stock increasing in value, is forever.

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

#WarWithIran will save many lives and bring peace to the region. Anyone that tells you otherwise... well, I don’t need to remind you who provides weapons to Iran #RussianBot
#🇱🇷

[Dr. Gibson McFück, Esq 🌐🇺🇦 @GibsonMcFuck]

In the studio now is Washington Post correspondent and former Raytheon lobbyist Gargoyle Slick to walk us through how killing ten million people over the next 30 years in an apocalyptic world war that will end in nuclear attacks will save many lives and bring peace to the region.

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

@WalkerBragman Glad @neeratanden is on the same page with me.

As a former @Raytheon employee, I’m proud of the fact that my stocks increase in value when we start wars, because it means I could then spend that money and have it trickle down like acid rain to the rest of America!

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

@mpscthfhehd @proustmalone @Raytheon No but we do have some holiday party decorations - anyone need a big banner that says “Mission Accomplished”?

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

@zz2aa @proustmalone @Raytheon @washingtonpost Sure it is! And the question is: what is a surefire way to increase the value of my @Raytheon stocks and make me an even more upper middle class heterosexual man?

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

@GibsonMcFuck @MSDNCNews @DrJasonJohnson Similarly, I’m dismayed that anyone would imply that I, whose personal fortunes have increased substantially in the past few days alone, would be biased towards more war

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

@realDonaldTrump Right! As a former @Raytheon employee, I’m proud to have been part of creating grade-A weaponry for our efforts to bring peace and stability to the Middle East!

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

@proustmalone @GibsonMcFuck @soledadobrien #WarWithIran will produce a labor shortage at home as the men go off to war, which will increase women’s wages as their labor becomes more in demand.
How is it not sexist to want to keep women from making more? So-called progressives should own up to this hypocrisy!

[Gargoyle W. Slick @GargoyleSlick]

@tedcruz The increase in the prices for my @Raytheon shares was certainly much more significant. #WarWithIran is an absolute financial boon to this country and we should embrace it as such!