Garrett Haley

Blah

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

@SarahPosal That too. Miss you, friend!

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

Anyone else get really proud of themselves when they remember to do laundry?

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

@realDonaldTrump You're scum. I know you won't read this, but you are absolute scum.

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

Glazed & Infused is a fantastic donut place. Go. Get a donut. Hang a fang on it.

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

Cox does not provide internet service in Chicago. I miss Cox. Cox always did me right. #getit #dirtyjokes #imagrownup

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

I don't want to make grilled cheese for drunkies tonight.

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

It's a hot day in Chicago, and now I don't know how to handle life.

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

DO YOU SUCK AS MUCH AT GOLF AS YOU DO AT BEING PRESIDENT? @realDonaldTrump I BET YOU DO.

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

HOW ARE YOUR GOLF GAMES GOING? @realDonaldTrump

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

I have only one goal with this Twitter. To eventually get @realDonaldTrump to tweet something stupid in response to me.

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

WHOSE PANTS ARE THESE?

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

These are not my pants.

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

Big city life is an ass kicker.

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

Tweeeeeeetor?

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

Quoting The Grinch word for word with @Jdebose1958 is fun.

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

Maybe if I'm really lucky, I'll get to eat today.

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

Man, Oklahoma. It's been real.

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

"the people who bought our old house aren't lucky. I left a rolly polly in it." #shitmynephewsays

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

I get to move away in 5 days, and just in time to miss Thanksgiving with my extremely Republican family. I feel like I won the lottery.

[Garrett Haley @GarrettHaley9]

If this is what this country stands for, consider me an unpatriot. I am disgusted.