Garry Condoseres

I go by many names. The more informed call me Garry with 2 Rs. The less informed call me Jessica. I’m from Darwin. I like spaghetti

[L A R R Y @LarryOConnor]

Life is beautiful.

[Garry Condoseres @GarryCondoseres]

I just got a charity spam email with the subject "Sepsis nearly killed our son - You can help change the outcome."

Why would I... what?

[Quite Interesting @qikipedia]

More Grammy awards have been won by Mikhail Gorbachev (1), Jimmy Carter (4), and the Muppets (14) than by Lana Del Rey (0), ABBA (0), or Queen (0).

[Australian Women's Cricket Team 🏏 @AusWomenCricket]

They've done it! Australia have won the #Ashes! 🏆

[Garry Condoseres @GarryCondoseres]

Had to skip the gym this morning because I had a doctor appointment. Doctor told me I need to go to the gym more often.

I paid $70 for this advice.

[Garry Condoseres @GarryCondoseres]

@dylanmalloch I don't know.

[Garry Condoseres @GarryCondoseres]

The #Matrix is now old enough that today I met a woman named Trinity old enough to be a flight attendant.

[Quite Interesting @qikipedia]

Word of the Day: CRIKEYCORE (neologism) - an aesthetic based on things stereotypically associated with Australia.

[Cricket Australia @CricketAus]

CHAMPIONS! 🏆

So proud of our INCREDIBLE team! 🇦🇺

#CWC23

[Garry Condoseres @GarryCondoseres]

Kohli glaring at the umpire after chopping the ball onto his own stumps. I swear he was a heartbeat away from reviewing it. #CWCFinal

[Australian Women's Cricket Team 🏏 @AusWomenCricket]

Seven World Cups. Our greatest run scorer. Our most successful captain.

She did it all, and she did it her way. Thanks Meg ❤️

[Garry Condoseres @GarryCondoseres]

Capybara is a state of mind.

[Garry Condoseres @GarryCondoseres]

MATILDAAAAAAAAS!

[Garry Condoseres @GarryCondoseres]

@switchfoot Overheard my three-year-old singing #MisheardLyrics. "Hallelujah nevertheless. You're my giant vegetable. Giant Vegetable!" #JoyInvincible

[Garry Condoseres @GarryCondoseres]

@TheBarmyArmy I think the two we won had more to do with it than the one we drew. But hey, who's counting?

[Garry Condoseres @GarryCondoseres]

@fins0905 Now that's using the clock as a weapon.

[Garry Condoseres @GarryCondoseres]

We need one of those chants like
@TheBarmyArmy
have. Somehow "Same old Pommies, always trying to do what we do but missing and failing and losing because they're just not quite as good at cricket as we aaaaaaare," doesn't have the same cadence. #Ashes https://t.co/h5HX7k38Ct

[Garry Condoseres @GarryCondoseres]

I got stumped the same way Bairstow did once. You know what everyone told me when I complained the ball was dead? "You're an idiot Garry." And they were right.

Of course I was 14 years old and not a professional playing for my country. #Ashes

[Garry Condoseres @GarryCondoseres]

Local baker tells me this Friday is #NationalDonutDay. Which body is empowered to declare a national day of donuts? And how do we get them more funding?

[Garry Condoseres @GarryCondoseres]

My hands smell like a candle shop.