Gary Floater

country singer/songwirter man.

[Gary Floater @GaryFloater]

Hot damn!

[Gabe Wootton 🚬🥃⚰️ @GabeWootton]

Man, we totally need a hurricane named “Gary”

[Gary Floater @GaryFloater]

today im going to be teaching my dogs to savor their food, to eat s-l-o-w-l-y

[Gary Floater @GaryFloater]

the venue handed me a settlement sheet, and i noticed a mathmatical error. i said you can't have a negative number for people who came to the show. the venue said, most people can't, but YOU can, cause the people that were here left when you started

[Gary Floater @GaryFloater]

Tater tots with their eyes all aglow, will find it hard to sleep tonight. The 2nd Holiday High: https://t.co/WpBzSPjDwS

[Gary Floater @GaryFloater]

Mustache roasting by an open fire, jack in the box nipping at your nose… wishing you a Gary Christmas from BW and Puffy Dan.

[Gary Floater @GaryFloater]

then i said which one?

[Gary Floater @GaryFloater]

i had a medical procedure with sedation and when i left the doctorman said ‘dont operate heavy machinery or play musical instruments’. i said why not. he said because it’s unsafe and it sounds bad

[Gary Floater @GaryFloater]

buying it is EZ. The hard part begins right afterward

[Gary Floater @GaryFloater]

VIP section has a great view of above ground and below ground action

[Gary Floater @GaryFloater]

this summer I will developing an innovative concept in outdoor festivals, playing for an untapped market segment that is growing and has been ignored too long. My tour of midwestern prairie dog towns will be called the “Country Mammal to the Bone” tour

[Gary Floater @GaryFloater]

i received word that my song “I Don’t Need You Anymore” has been plagiarized more than 10000 times. My attorneys at Noodles & Co. have sent cease and desist orders to every southern rock artist. I will drop cases if the singers will admit that they really do still need the person

[Gary Floater @GaryFloater]

@MTomPatt computers like to get drunk too

[Gary Floater @GaryFloater]

are toenail clippings compostable? or do they go in mixed recycling?

[Gary Floater @GaryFloater]

i received word that my song “I Can’t Cry in Spanish” was not selected for a Billboard Latin Music Award

[Gary Floater @GaryFloater]

Thanks for the messages asking how Gary is doing. Yes, Gary has been enjoying his vacation, getting some well-deserved rest and relaxation. Here's a photo of him at the spa getting a treatment that they say should make him look younger - or at least no older - when it is complete

[Gary Floater @GaryFloater]

@JeffPlankenhorn like my dad said before he left: “you cant sink a Floater”

[Gary Floater @GaryFloater]

its that uplifting time of year where i raise up my expectations of those all around me

[wevo @wevodau]

.@GaryFloater that Christmas record coming out anytime soon? lmk if you need help writing the songs

[Gary Floater @GaryFloater]

actually i thought was helping, saving you all the trouble of unwrapping

[Mose Buchele @MoseBuchele]

This time of year my thoughts turn to @GaryFloater. His Christmas concerts havent happened for a while. But friends and I still try to get together with and sing his immortal songs. I know one day Gary himself will walk right through that door.
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