Gary Oak

Best at everything I do, best at everything I don’t. Hey Ash, if you’re reading this, I made my Ditto transform into your mom last night.

[Gary Oak @GaryOak]

Some moron in Mahogany Town just tried to sell me a Slowpoke tail for ¥1,000,000. I laughed in his face and caught my own in Slowpoke Well. Shit is delicious.

[Gary Oak @GaryOak]

Speechless.

[Gary Oak @GaryOak]

I’ll be celebrating my birthday the same way I do every year. Driving around in my convertible with my cheerleading squad getting high smoking Bulbasaur leaves and throwing Chansey eggs at Ash’s house.

[Gary Oak @GaryOak]

I sometimes make my Ditto turn into Ash’s mom and text him the pictures.

[Gary Oak @GaryOak]

Officer Jenny is jealous that I’ve been spending so much time with Nurse Joy. The only right thing to do is call them both over and see what happens.

[Gary Oak @GaryOak]

@Bulbapedia Thanks, chumps!

[Gary Oak @GaryOak]

Just sold an NFT of my testicles painted like Master Balls.

[Gary Oak @GaryOak]

Fed Bug Catcher Jared’s Metapod to my Pidgeot.

[Gary Oak @GaryOak]

Had a threesome with two Jynx and got the clap. No, this isn’t an April Fools joke. Someone call Nurse Joy immediately.

[Gary Oak @GaryOak]

In the middle of resting my junk on Nurse Joy’s face, I realized I should probably be catching more Pokémon or something.

[Gary Oak @GaryOak]

#SmellYa

[Gary Oak @GaryOak]

It’s amazing how Bill’s PC system can fit Pokémon with all that porn I uploaded onto it.

[Gary Oak @GaryOak]

People of Viridian City, I’ll be giving a public lecture entitled “SMELL YA LATER: Bullying to Success, an Elite 4 Champ” tomorrow at 8PM.

[Gary Oak @GaryOak]

Gary Oak’s tongue technique on Officer Jenny? Super Effective.

[Pokémon @Pokemon]

Gary was here!

Ash is a loser!

[Gary Oak @GaryOak]

Anyone know what Jynx’s age of consent is? Asking for a friend.

[Gary Oak @GaryOak]

The secret to being a Pokémon master is showing up with full health when everyone else is heavily injured.

[Gary Oak @GaryOak]

Then sometimes, I catch a dozen Ditto, make one transform into Ash’s mom, then have the others transform into 11 copies of me.