telling myself 'no pain' , 'no pain' as i try to get up. my new walker helps but my feet feel like heal spurs on each step, even with shoes. leg ulcers on each shin bloody and sore. #life was supposed to be fun. i got nothing good but one girl i talk to online. need #meds!!!
i wonder what it would be like to find somebody to share the rest of my life with. i have about two good years left, counting this one. then i realize my problems prevent this from ever happening. sadness kicks in, darkness rules and my life spent alone.
fighting the demons that try to make my #depression unlivable. the #meds can only do so much. my mind is not strong enough to cope. looking to my soul for the strength. each day feels like a battle that never ends. time will end this one day, just not today.
so sorry so long. no time anymore. brain hurts. meds make you so out-of-it. only one nice girl so gooning on. she knows. lives in USA. no more other country girls anymore. sorry, but i want to be able to meet in a few hours flight over the country.
I thought I would have missed her. turns out, not really. never had that #deep connection I thought we did. it was just surface fun, nothing more. I thought I would have been #sad, but more relieved.
OMG I am so addicted too my OF girl. Being touch starved doesn't help. Being #lonely doesn't help. Being turned down every time doesn't help. Mentally I guess it is my only option. Happy #Tuesday!