Gary Oak

A PORTRAIT OF A POKEMON MASTER AS A YOUNG MAN.

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

I WAS A GYM LEADER ONCE, BUT EVERYONE THOUGHT IT WAS A DICK MOVE TO SCATTER BROKEN GLASS EVERYWHERE AND HAVE A STRICT NO SHOES POLICY.

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

THE SECRET TO BECOMING A MASTER AT ANYTHING IN LIFE IS SHOWING UP ON FULL HEALTH WHEN EVERYONE ELSE IS HEAVILY WOUNDED.

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

IT'S BANG YOUR FAVOURITE POKEMON WEEK
I CHOOSE YOU LAPRAS!
LAAAAAAAAPRAAAAAS!
OH YOU SEXY BLUE SEA-BITCH GODDAMN SAIL ME TO CINNABAR ISLAND

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

SHOULDA FIRST-PICKED LIKE ME BRO - SQUIRTLE'S LIKE A WALKING BIDET - HE COMES OUT HYPED FOR A BATTLE THEN I TELL HIM TO WASH MY SACK & CRACK

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

HEY ASH DID YOU PICK PIKACHU SO THAT WALKING DEFIBRILLATOR COULD SHOCK YOU BACK TO LIFE WHEN YOUR SHITTY HEART GIVES OUT AFTER EVERY BATTLE?

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

WTF @ KIDS GOING AROUND SAYING SHIT LIKE “ESCALATORS ARE LIKE THE RARE CANDY OF STAIRS”

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

AFTER BREAKING LT. SURGE’S SPIRIT, I LIKE TO STOP BY HIS GYM AND MAKE HIS ELECTRIC TYPES CHARGE MY PHONE. SOMETIMES I TOSS HIM A QUARTER.

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

THIS WEEKS EPISODE OF POKEMON: MISTY FINALLY GETS HER BIKE. #NEVERFUCKINGHAPPENED

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

HEY ASHY BOY, I GUESS PALLET TOWN NEEDS ONE TRAINER WHO ISN'T A TOTAL EMBARRASSMENT TO THE ACT OF BIRTH ITSELF

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

HEY ASH! WHEN YOU DIE I'M GONNA FART IN YOUR COFFIN AND SHUT IT- SO YOU CAN SMELL ME LATER, FOREVER <3<3<3 #SMELLYA

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

HEY KID! YEAH, YOU, COOLTRAINER WITH THE BUTTERFREE,.. I KNOW A COOL PLACE TO HIDE A DEAD BUTTERFREE.

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

NEW GEN POKÉMON LEAKED - THE UNEVOLVED FORM OF GASTLY-"RICK GASTLY". IT LEARNS FOUR MOVES - RUN AROUND, LET DOWN, GIVE UP, DESERT LOVED ONE.

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

EITHER WAY I GOT SOME PRETTY DOPE PICS

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

I SENT A DRAGONITE TO SPY ON GRAMPS AND TAKE PICTURES OF HIM BANGING ASH'S MOM, BUT HE SMASHED THROUGH THE BEDROOM WALL AND KILLED ASH'S MOM

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE GUY WHO DATED A NURSE JOY? WHEN THEY BROKE UP HE WENT INSANE AFTER EVERY NURSE HE MET ACTED LIKE THEY NEVER DATED.

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

SO THEN THE THEY DO THE ROCK-COCK FOR LIKE 7 HOURS AND A GRAVELER GOES 'WAIT, WHOSE COCK ARE WE?" AND THIS MACHAMP SHOWS UP AND SAYS "MINE"

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

K SO THEN THE ONYX SAYS TO THE TWO GRAVELERS, "STAND AT MY TAIL AND I'LL LIE DOWN AND WE'LL BE A MASSIVE ROCK-COCK"

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

BEEN SPENDIN' MOST MY LIFE,
LIVIN' IN A CAVE WITH OMANYTE

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

MINISTER FOR PLAYERS GARY OAK REFUSED TO COMMENT ON "RATIGATE"-ALLEGATIONS THAT HE FLUSHED HIS LOSER RATICATE DOWN AN S.S ANNE TOILET.

[Gary Oak @Gary_Oak_]

I KILLED CUBONE'S MOM. GARY OAK - TRAUMATISING A WHOLE SPECIES OF POKÉMON FOR LIFE.