Gatling Hawk

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[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

my opps can’t even begin to fathom the type shit i’m on

[RC @mezzamorta_7]

Ryan Gosling may your hairline remain intact for a thousand years if you are ghost directing this movie.

[gracerocky pr specialist @eridiansq]

gonna trust ryan on this one bc the last time this man hyperfixated on a piece of media we got project hail mary

[Doc Strangelove @DocStrangelove2]

I do like that there’s essentially a dedicated group to making cursed variants of the P90 in all ways.

[Marvel Studios @MarvelStudios]

Ghost Rider enters the MCU 🔥

Ryan Gosling will star in Marvel Studios' Ghost Rider, directed by Shawn Levy. #SDCC

[Gatling Hawk @Gatling_Hawk]

@JwadeChi @delitamutsume @GarlsCookbook @PlayStation Nah he ain’t, I know a couple friends who did that. PC is king

[Rioan @Hero190909]

@DiscussingFilm

[Doc Strangelove @DocStrangelove2]

"Why do you hate California so much?"

[Hendrix Cool @theghostofsf]

@nocontextmemes I prefer my Rod Serling smoking, thank you.

We used to be a society

[🤍 @evasstratt]

“we need more complex female characters in media” and y’all couldn’t even handle eva stratt

[project hail maggie @courtsanthem]

i have great news for you

[kyoni @fullmetalyaoi]

@andyweirauthor haha yeah I get I also spend a lot of time watching minecraft vid--ANDY WEIR AUTHOR OF PROJECT HAILMARY ?!?!!?!

[Gatling Hawk @Gatling_Hawk]

@madebyframes Project Hail Mary next please

[PS2 Enjoyer @Broncosbetta]

@LPNational @checkmatestate “The government should pay for my guns”

[Greg the Sorcerer @gregthesorcerer]

Before it was commonplace for everyone to have a high quality camera in their pocket this little dude probably would’ve become a local cryptid and been given a name like “the Seattle Squelcher.”

[Libertarian Party @LPNational]

Never forget this epic thread.

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.

Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.

My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.

Called the county clerk.

Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.

Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?

Me: Yes, but he's a cat.

Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?

Me: He's a legal cat.

Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.

Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.

Clerk: You can file on his behalf.

Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."

Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."

Me: What's the medical reason?

Clerk: He's a cat.

Me: That's not a medical condition.

Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.

Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.

"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."

Took the letter to my vet.

Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.

Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?

Me: Excellent question. No good answer.

Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.

Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?

Vet: On what grounds?

Me: He's a cat.

Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."

Me: Perfect.

Sent it in. Got another rejection.

"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."

My roommate thought this was hilarious.

Roommate: Felix is going to jail.

Me: This is serious.

Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.

Decided that was actually the only option left.

Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.

Checked in at the courthouse.

Clerk: Name?

Me: Felix Martinez.

Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.

Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.

Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?

Me: I filed three. All rejected.

Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.

Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?

Me: Twice.

Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.

Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.

Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?

Me: You tell me.

Supervisor: This is a data error.

Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.

They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.

Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.

Me: Appreciate it.

Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?

Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.

Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.

For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.

Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.

Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.

Roommate: That's what they all say.

Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.

Fitting end to his legal career.

[𝕎𝕙𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕣🇻🇦🇦🇱🦩 @GonChangeLater]

Why do they always remove or crop out the cross from this guy?

[Gatling Hawk @Gatling_Hawk]

@TheS0nOfJazzy It’s peak