This quarantine reminds me of the time a video of me getting freaky with a horse surfaced on the internet. Can’t leave the house for weeks and the whole situation is a real pain in the ass. #neeeeeigh#yeehaw#reversecowboy
@Pornhub where can I inquire about the 55 gallon drums of lube you offered to the city of Philadelphia? The free premium over the past week has officially run me through my 10 gallon reserve. #BeatYoMeat
This toilet paper shortage has really harmed my normal ass eating activities. Every time I go to lick a turd cutter, I end up with really shitty breath. #QuarantineAndChill#TheGrindNeverStops