Dementor-ious B.I.G.

I'm kinda like Ann Coulter, sucking the life and joy out of everything. Except I'm marginally more likeable.

[Dementor-ious B.I.G. @GeekyDementor]

#2017In4Words Your idol's a scumbag

[Greta Thunberg @GretaThunberg]

this is what happens when you don’t recycle your pizza boxes

[Dementor-ious B.I.G. @GeekyDementor]

@justingordon212 I couldn't tell you that, but if you ever wanted to tank a company and not pay out your users for months on end (if ever) consult @nadiagenmasri about her oh-so-fantastic work running @getperksy into the ground.

[Dementor-ious B.I.G. @GeekyDementor]

I've been devouring these #ADHD memes like Cheeto's Puffs. Just like "Damn, this is good. And now I need another."

[Dementor-ious B.I.G. @GeekyDementor]

I've been watching #AmericanHousewife for years and this last season was a rough one, but they somehow stuck the landing at the end.

A lot of the chemistry felt off and storylines a bit janky and unfocused, but thankfully they found their footing and focus in the last few eps.

[Dementor-ious B.I.G. @GeekyDementor]

I bought a used chess set at the thrift store but it was missing some pieces, so I went to a pawn shop and boy was that disappointing.

[Dementor-ious B.I.G. @GeekyDementor]

Just gonna tweet every other day or so that way I don’t get these desperate ass “notifications” twitter likes to send me if I’m away for too long. Fuck you @twitter.

[Zara Rahim @ZaraRahim]

...Dolly Parton wrote “I Will Always Love You” and “Jolene” in the same day

[Dementor-ious B.I.G. @GeekyDementor]

Hey @twitter, these aren’t notifications you piece of shit. This is a pathetic attempt to make me check this account again. Knock this shit off.

[Dementor-ious B.I.G. @GeekyDementor]

Gonna go to hell for this one. #TigerKing #Netflix

[Dementor-ious B.I.G. @GeekyDementor]

@NetflixLifee Gentified. Hands down.

[Dementor-ious B.I.G. @GeekyDementor]

If you’re going into #LoveIsBlind with great enthusiasm because you think it’ll be as good as #TheCircleNetflix , well...my thoughts in a nutshell:

[Dementor-ious B.I.G. @GeekyDementor]

#ThingsILearnedOnSocialMedia You’re wrong. Whatever the fuck it is you’re trying to say, you’re wrong.

What’s that? You’re sad? NetRando69 says otherwise!

It’s raining today? False! Where I am it’s dry you dirty liar.

Also, if a single person agrees with me, I’m wrong.

[Dementor-ious B.I.G. @GeekyDementor]

@NetflixLifee And I thought only @valvesoftware had trouble counting to 3 🙄

[Dementor-ious B.I.G. @GeekyDementor]

@AgathaChocolats That smile. That damn beaky smile.

[Dementor-ious B.I.G. @GeekyDementor]

@_OT__ I stayed out of their life.

[Dementor-ious B.I.G. @GeekyDementor]

@dominos What’s the handle for that bacteria that eats sludge?

[Dementor-ious B.I.G. @GeekyDementor]

#ImNotAnEvangelicalBut I have been mistaken for one

[Dementor-ious B.I.G. @GeekyDementor]

I miss the days when Twitter was used for hashtag games and arguing with strangers over which Hogwarts house each Marvel character would belong to.

[Dementor-ious B.I.G. @GeekyDementor]

I have a neighbor with both a young baby and a surround sound system placed against the wall we share. Now I’m not sure if the baby is deaf or just soothed by super loud explosions at all hours of the night, but there’s on thing I do know:

That baby has an asshole for a father.