Harry Flashman

Brigadier-General of the British Army. Hero, blackguard, lecher and poltroon. And a damn fine ride in the sack. Needless to say, *not official*

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

Don't trust her Volod, she'll swear to be true to you and then just break your heart.

Look at the guy behind her. He's 18! She's just worn him out.

[🚨Global Alert @trendingnews911]

Ukrainian President Zelensky arrived in Rome and met with Italian Prime Minister Meloni.

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

The King sends a message...'if Iran and the US are going to blockade that strait, we need to blockade *them*'

So here I am, with the full force of the British Navy--three rowing boats and a (unicorn-shaped) pedalo--stopping tankers in the Strait of Hormuz

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

Holiday in Dubai going well. Very relaxing

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

@militaryhistori Steered with a firm and controlling hand

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

Oops, sorry. Sitting here in Kuwait, just chatting to a friend when I leant on the anti-aircraft fire button.

No harm done I'm sure.

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

Four years ago I was having some fun in a Kyivan brothel when some Russians brought a new meaning to coitus interruptus.

Luckily you can get the same service, from the same girls, in Bayswater and Paddington now, without the risk of interruption.

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

Of course, Heathcliff was partially based on yours truly. Had a lovely weekend with young Lottie Bronte when her husband was away and caught that Emily trying to peek at us through the (frankly gaping) holes in the door.

The facial hair is a bit of a giveaway isn't it?

[Dominic Sandbrook @dcsandbrook]

Our new show, THE BOOK CLUB, begins today!

We kick off with Emily Brontë's Gothic masterpiece WUTHERING HEIGHTS - necrophiliac lovers, dead dogs, the joys of drinking graveyard water and a truly melodramatic opening reading.

🎧 https://t.co/JlovhwA9zJ
📚@bookclubpodhq

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

@DH1PubCrawler Oddly, not what Elspeth suggested on my return from the Donbass.

Unless 'why aren't you dead yet?' is a phrase of affection among younger women.

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

Odd. Elspeth said the same.

She swore to me she'd avoid Brudenell who is over thir for a 'conference'. Obviously she hates the man as much as I do.

[Jarvis @jarvis_best]

My wife’s trainer is a nice guy but he’s an IDIOT who scheduled a yoga retreat in Vail with her for this weekend without realizing it was Valentine’s Day’s 😂😂😂 Guy is just totally helpless.

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

I wish to make absolutely clear that when I emailed Mr Epstein saying 'where are u? I miss you' it was ENTIRELY in the context of attempting to assassinate him for his obvious crimes. Unfortunately my shooting isn't as accurate as it once was.

No other interpretation is possible

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

@PeterMannionMP I've done it twice. And the perks aren't as good as you'd think.

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

I'm once again having to make clear that any engravings of me found in the Epstein Files are clearly faked. Forged if you will. I was never *that* close to Mrs Bismarck. Or her daughters.

Clearly fantasy to have me in all those different historical locations as well.

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

Davos.

Where some of the highest paid escorts in the world get to entertain leaders of christian and muslim nations. At the public expense.

I love the place.

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

@Joanna__Hardy Classic separation of powers---executive, legislative, judicial and cygnini.

As Henry III's law code has it 'if 21 swans are gathered, let them open any closed law court and solve the backlog' (I paraphrase)

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

So, my plans for a leisurely New Year in Caracas took a slight downturn.

New York is lovely this time of year though, isn't it?

Hoping to meet Mrs @NYCMayor though.

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

Happiest moment of 2025: that night with @GretaThunberg on her yacht in the eastern med, watching fireworks overhead, her eyes rolled back in Flash-induced ecstasy as she shouted 'this is almost as good as destroying capitalism'.

Do wish she'd taken that silly scarf off tho.

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

Throwing vodka bottles at drones to be made Olympic sport.

Spent xmas practising.

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

Remember old Airey Neave saying to me in Colditz, 'time to play the do or die card Flashy...there's not enough chocolate for both of us in this care package'

And then the bugger buggered off AND nicked my chocolate. But he won the game.

[Dr Helen Fry | WWII Historian @DrHelenFry]

📚 Book Giveaway 📚

I am delighted to offer 1x signed copy of my MI9 book to 1x lucky winner!

Simply 'Follow' my account and 'Like' this post.

This giveaway is open to entrants worldwide.

The winner will be selected at random on Thurs 15th May at 8:00 PM GMT.

Good luck!🤞

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

Sorry, head down. Donbas (great apricots). Mariupol (great steelworks). Kursk (great drones).

Trying to get on the next flight out.
Same as 2024.
and 2023.

Send tickets. And brandy!

[Harry Flashman @GeneralFlashman]

No, no, not going on the great farming march.

Lots of farmers' wives left at home will need some company in rural Leicestershire