**Cabin Crew:** Captain... the flight attendant you've been chatting with and promising layover dinners is my girlfriend.
**Pilot:** Which one?
**Cabin Crew:** Jessica.
**Pilot:** Ah. Okay.
**Cabin Crew:** If you take her from me, this aircraft won't be big enough for both of us.
**Pilot:** I'm booking the crew hotel now. Want a suite too?
**Cabin Crew:** Sir... it's not that I'm choosing a hotel upgrade over my relationship.
**Cabin Crew:** But since you're offering...
**Pilot:** Done.
**Cabin Crew:** While we're here, my cousin wants to get into aviation.
**Pilot:** Send his résumé.
**Cabin Crew:** And next month's roster?
**Pilot:** Already changed.
**Cabin Crew:** Captain... are you always this helpful?
**Pilot:** Son, if she leaves you for me, you're gonna need the suite, the job contact, *and* the better roster.
**Pilot:** I'm just planning ahead.
Every hommie has your number for their 3 a.m. breakdowns.
You have no one when it’s your turn.
You keep every sinking ship afloat while quietly drowning in silence.
Nobody notices until you go under.
Ferrari built their first ever electric supercar oooo
Instead of unveiling it to the world first, they took it straight up to the pope 😭
The pope inspected it. Sat in the driver’s seat. Got the controls explained to him.
Before customers. Before deliveries. Before the streets.
God saw it first 👀