Geode

Got born, got bored, made twitter.

[Geode @geowilkinson]

@JennyLConstable 🤢😍

[Geode @geowilkinson]

@JennyLConstable I know this is the least of the issues with this flowchart, but why are the no/yes options for "do you work' the wrong way round? 😭

[Geode @geowilkinson]

Crying! At the Hozier gig

[Geode @geowilkinson]

Upset to discover I was forced to live without this masterpiece for 18 months

[PopCulture @notgwendalupe]

'hercules' premiered 26 years ago today

[Geode @geowilkinson]

@excaliburedpan I bought 3 swimsuits this week, all the one size. Only one fit. Why are they like this?!

[Geode @geowilkinson]

@excaliburedpan He's been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty

[Geode @geowilkinson]

@JennyLConstable You terrify me 💕

[Geode @geowilkinson]

Why did nobody tell me The Batman is a comedy? This shit's hilarious

[Ross Sayers @Sayers33]

Wow, ok, unfollowing now. Was a big fan of his serial womanising and having 12 children to 4 different women, had no idea he wrote poetry.

[Dominic Minghella @DMinghella]

When I am in charge of the country, I will introduce legislation to require companies to replace the line "We are experiencing a high volume of calls” with "We have not hired enough operators to answer our phones."

[Geode @geowilkinson]

Trying to find a profile pic for work in which i look nice, am on my own, and am not holding a drink - no pic it is

[Gravantus @Gravantus]

This is the last day you can retweet this

[Geode @geowilkinson]

The Traitors is an incredible show to the point I've watched half the series in two days, but my fav part is 100% spotting which Lucy & Yak item Hannah's wearing and the bit of black tape production have used to hide the tag

[Geode @geowilkinson]

Still obsessed with this. Just a little bit of croissant

[Scott Bryan @scottygb]

7. When @thehuwedwards admitted that he had eaten a little bit of crossaint during the BBC’s local election coverage https://t.co/lgv8clvFzq

[Geode @geowilkinson]

@ohayeitsskye Cannot believe you put my whole personality in the "out" category

[Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation @OKWildlifeDept]

There is nothing silly about a goose.

[Mike Beauvais @MikeBeauvais]

In honour of Christine McVie, here is the perfect Fleetwood Mac joke from Flight of the Conchords.

[Geode @geowilkinson]

@YourLocalLefty I can't believe, in the year of our lord 2022, you're making me remember the lemon stealing whores. I knew the cyberbullies would come for me one day

[Geode @geowilkinson]

Sometimes living alone is cooking a lovely meal and listening to your favourite podcast, at peace, and sometimes it's yelling "OH NO. THE LEMONS. THEY'RE CASCADING" as you open a cupboard b/c you needed one lemon but lidl only had the net of lemons and now there's too many lemons