Geoff Foster

I have two mini kids

[Geoff Foster @Geoff_Foster]

When are @Applebees and @Apple going to get together for a sweet colab

[Geoff Foster @Geoff_Foster]

My 4 y/o: Knock knock
Me: who’s there
4 y/o: thumbs up
Me: thumbs up who
4 y/o: you don’t have hands anymore!
@thedad

[Geoff Foster @Geoff_Foster]

@royalteague It’s got something to do with the matrix

[Geoff Foster @Geoff_Foster]

What’s up with hotel lamps?

[Geoff Foster @Geoff_Foster]

How long till bowl cuts come back?

[Geoff Foster @Geoff_Foster]

Well done Steve Jobs 👏🏽. We finally have caller ID on our phones!!

[Geoff Foster @Geoff_Foster]

This faucet was once the life of the party

[Geoff Foster @Geoff_Foster]

I think if I had tap shoes I could make it work

[Geoff Foster @Geoff_Foster]

Honestly @twitter, that’s what I was going to tweet!

[Geoff Foster @Geoff_Foster]

@kyle_borg This is good. I check Twitter 5 times a year! So glad it was today.

Beach day in kindergarten. Never figured out how to rub shaving cream on a table.

[Geoff Foster @Geoff_Foster]

Instead of Kleenex, why aren’t they called Kleanose? #NoseNotNeck @Kleenex

[Geoff Foster @Geoff_Foster]

I guess this is the time for high school athletes to capitalize on their E-Games skills! #ThanksCoronavirus #yourewelcomecoronavirus

[Geoff Foster @Geoff_Foster]

Today’s though: how far did Moana actually go?

[Geoff Foster @Geoff_Foster]

@sean_mcconnell Just tell them you’re a gynecologist. It always works in the movies.

[Geoff Foster @Geoff_Foster]

@Dunkaroos Can I get a mondo to drink??

[Geoff Foster @Geoff_Foster]

In 1999 my cordless phone at my house had caller ID and would tell you whoever was calling. In 2019 I have to type an unknown number that called my cell phone into google to see who’s calling me.... feels like backwards progress

[Geoff Foster @Geoff_Foster]

If I ever have to type “banana” I close my eyes and fact check against Gwen Stefani voice first.

[Geoff Foster @Geoff_Foster]

When you have shakey hands you might find you have crossed a lot of verses out of the Bible. Not in a blaspheming way but in an “oops that was supposed to be an underline” sort of way.

[Geoff Foster @Geoff_Foster]

Every puplix has invested in the genius sushi marketing strategy of the folding “we have sushi” sign. What will they think of next?!