George Jarvis

sammamish WA

[Justin Thomas @JustinThomas34]

It’s go time. Let’s get it @PresidentsCup 🇺🇸

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

Jets HC Aaron Glenn said RB Breece Hall will be out 2-3 weeks, but he expects him to be ready for the regular season opener vs. the Titans.

[Ari Hoffman @thehoffather]

Democrats are redistributing Washington's wealth to Idaho, Texas and Florida

[Prison Mitch @Prisonmitch]

Literally every episode of Severance:

[Jack Raines @Jack_Raines]

Going to start applying a 20% upcharge to all Venmo requests to correct personal trade imbalances

[Will Cain @willcain]

Awful. This morning 17-year-old Austin Metcalf was stabbed by 17-year-old Karmelo Anthony at a track meet in Frisco. He died in his twin brother’s arms. Incomprehensible. Pray for his family.

[Tyler Rogoway @Aviation_Intel]

Tucker: Why did you invade Ukraine?

Putin: Very well, where do I begin?

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it. At the age of eighteen, I went off to evil medical school. From there...

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

A youth movement in Seattle: Seahawks are expected to hire Ravens’ defensive coordinator Mike Macdonald as their new head coach, league sources tell ESPN. They’re still finalizing the deal, but Seattle has its man.

At 36, Macdonald now becomes the NFL’s youngest head coach.

[Jared Carrabis @Jared_Carrabis]

This feels like it should not be legal imo.

[George Jarvis @GeorgeRJarvis]

@dirtiestmikee Kraken just netted a game winner cheer up Mike !

[Barstool Gambling @stoolgambling]

IN HIS NHL DEBUT

KRAKEN LEAD https://t.co/nDWmNTLzET

[Malika Andrews @malika_andrews]

Last week, 20-year-old John Hao’s life was changed forever. He was one of the students shot at Michigan State University and was left paralyzed from the waist down. Hao is a huge fan of James Harden, and when Harden heard Hao’s story, he stepped in:

[Vivek Ramaswamy @VivekGRamaswamy]

Going up against China will require short term pain, but if we can revive the ideals this nation was founded upon, it is a sacrifice well worth making.

[Dave “Softy” Mahler @Softykjr]

The Seahawks are going to the playoffs

[Adam Pfeifer @APfeifer24]

Me hyping up my fantasy team every week https://t.co/lIR9WU3Shb

[Dave “Softy” Mahler @Softykjr]

After yesterday: Russell Wilson is now 16-4 lifetime including playoffs vs SF. Passer rating of 100.3 with 35 TD and 9 INT. He’s never lost to them by more than 7 points. He’s beaten them by double digits 10 times. He is their daddy. And there’s no debate .

[Fore Play @ForePlayPod]

Chills. Golf is the best

[GOLF.com @GOLF_com]

"Mr. Gilmore, I'm your caddy"

Will Zalatoris has embraced the Happy Gilmore comparison. 😂 (@Titleist)

[KFC @KFCBarstool]

Shocked it took this long for Pepe Le Pew. PLP is legit just a skunk rapist, stunned he wasn’t the first one to go in this era. Should be a fun week of one side crying that Pepe keeps them up at night while the other defends the need for skunks raping girls in cartoons