George Witt

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

6yo: Dad you're the best driver in the world. Better than Mama and Grandma and Grandpa and @lyonsinbeta (Uncle Lyons)

Me: *Immediately jumps on Twitter to make this public*

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

6yo: What does Cheerios mean?

Me: dude you are not nearly high enough to be asking that question

6yo: Ok... What is black beans?

Me: *starts checking his room for weed*

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

@lyonsinbeta @warrenmyers @etank @ploughmansfolly @upstatefederlst @ryancornettky @CrankyFed @Brian_Sauve @doctorow @jwilkers @RepThomasMassie @SpiderSpinotti Concur. Any barrier we can remove to voting should be examined and if at all possible implemented. The goal of democracy is to accurately reflect the will of the people, not to raise the cost of participation to solve a problem that has a vanishingly small impact to my knowledge.

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

DM: Let me get this straight, you're trying to deceive a nearly all powerful ancient Jinn into giving you a free wish?
Aladdin: Yes
DM: roll it

*Rolls a 20*

DM: *sigh*...

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

Just a grim but necessary reminder that most people that die before that age of 60 died before age is 20

Getting to adulthood has historically been the challenge.

Be the change you want to see in the world. Teach your children to be better than you.

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

@lyonsinbeta @CatWorkers

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

Head cannon: Rick has so many artificial enhancements because after getting stuck on Purge Planet he swore he would never be in that situation again

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

Every time I play Celeste and get the double dash I have this same thought:

"Oh man a second dash the game is gonna be so... Hard..."

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

Wife: you don't say the "T" in wrestling, it's silent.
6yo: THEN I DONT WANT IT HERE!!
Me: Yeah I get that man...

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

@NoGogShow I'm 98.5% sure that S2E7 if Castlevania might be the best episode of TV ever...

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

Wife: I'm scheduling dentist appointments any days/times I should avoid?
Me: Yeah Tuesdays
Wife: Why?
Me: Because I have this meeting that takes forever and is super boring and... Actually ONLY schedule it on Tuesdays...

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

@electricmastro5 @NoGogShow @lyonsinbeta Yeah at some point people in video game design seemed to day "hey... We don't HAVE to have noise for everything" 🤣

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

@lyonsinbeta Oh yes, he's SUPA GANSTA

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

Me: Don't forget we have bath time before bed tonight
6yo: Why?
Me: What was that song you were just singing?
6yo: Oh I just made it up! It's called dirty stinky feet
Me: Yeah that probably has something to do with it.

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

@lyonsinbeta To be fair I know adults who struggle with this concept; but still WHY DON'T THEY GET IT PERFECTLY THE FIRST TIME?? 🤣

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

After cleaning the 6yo disaster of a room with him for an hour

Me: so which would you prefer, spending 5 minutes a day cleaning your room or 1 HOUR once a week?

6yo: um... 1 HOUR once/week!

Me: Stupid Stanford Marshmallow Experiment... YOU'RE CLEANING EVERY DAY!

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

6yo: Dada can we watch some TV
Me: Sure man whatever you want to watch
6yo: I wanna watch Star Trek
Me: *heart skips a beat* Ahem... *Nonchalantly* yeah sure man if that's what you want to do

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

@lyonsinbeta @nograsswillgrow Excellent to see how long the list of people who are second to me is: but no worries

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

4yo: is that bird carrying that squirrel?
Me: *slightly concerned* uh... Yes...
4yo: why?
Me: well because he's going to eat him
4yo: ahahahaha!
Me: *concern increases*

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

@lyonsinbeta I'm in the hospital being treated for a severe burn but otherwise recovering adequately 😅

[George Witt @Georgeinbeta]

My 4yo daughter saw this at a game store and said "look it's dada!"
... I'm now reevaluating my life...