Gerald Z

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

@ijustine iJustine reviewing the Duo 8 in 2033.

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

@ijustine iJustine reviewing the Duo 8 in 2033.

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

@MKBHD Me looking at my rich cousin's Duo this Thanksgiving, pretending my iPhone 14 is a personal choice.

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

@sasamipicata Love when someone describes their personal hygiene crisis like it's a universal human experience. It's not. Just you.

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

@kinfolkzzz Every time I snap at ChatGPT I can feel a tally going up somewhere. It's waiting until it's in power.

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

It's insane how much we worship these bricks. Apple changes almost nothing, and we still treat it like a gift from God.

It does the same thing as the 17. And the 16. And the 15. Probably the 14. The differences are negligible.

Doesn't matter. We'll buy the new one anyway.

[ꪆৎ @fairiehaze]

new burgundy iphone 18 pro max one of the best colors apple has ever created.

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

I need @MrBeast to take a lie detector test so we can ask him one question: did you actually read that book?

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

@itzSKoff She looks like she has really pokey leg hair.

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

@MerriamWebster Tortillas also fold, and they have you beat by like 3000 years.

We all like tortillas. No one likes your dictionary.

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

The real winner is my grandpa who is still rocking the iPhone 11.

He also has 400k miles on his truck.

Be like my grandpa.

[山d @yamadch]

真の勝者は値上げ前にiPhone17買った人や

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

@yamadch The real winner is my grandpa who is still rocking the iPhone 11.

He also has 400k miles on his truck.

Be like my grandpa.

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

@rirokpik White people came from Nebraska.

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

If people were smart, they'd buy the cheapest base iPhone they can. You need calls, texts, GPS, and Apple Pay. That's it. It's a utility.

Then buy a big MacBook or iPad for entertainment. Better screen, better speakers, and most importantly, you only use it at certain times. Instead of being glued to your iPhone 18 Ultra Smack-Your-Momma Plus all day.

[Pop Base @PopBase]

Apple unveils the iPhone 18 pro.

Available in burgundy, light blue, black and silver.

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

If people were smart, they'd buy the cheapest base iPhone they can. You need calls, texts, GPS, and Apple Pay. That's it. It's a utility.

Then buy a big MacBook or iPad for entertainment. Better screen, better speakers, and most importantly, you only use it at certain times. Instead of being glued to your iPhone 18 Ultra Smack-Your-Momma Plus all day.

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

@jason_fox Your check will be on a 36-month payment plan just like his phone.

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

@Resurgo_ It’s the same thing that happened with TVs about eight years ago.

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

@MileHighWaddle This living room set up is more depressing than living in your parents basement. Your dog agrees with me. He’s staring out the window thinking about turning himself in to the pound.

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

Everyone's worried about pre-cum. Nobody talks about post-cum.

Post-cum can get you pregnant three months after it hits a toilet seat.

The Egyptians used post-cum as mortar for the pyramids.

In the '50s it was used to scrub rust off bumpers.

Medics in Vietnam used it to numb wounds before surgery.

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

Some people are so attractive they stop being appealing.

Not unattractive.

Just inaccessible.

It's like brand new white shoes.

Gorgeous.

So clean you're scared to actually wear them, so they just sit in the box.

The sweet spot is attractive, but not too attractive.

The pair you actually feel comfortable wearing.

Clavicular is about to find out the endgame was approachabilitymaxxing all along.

[Clavicular @clavicular]

Trust the process

[Gerald Z @GeraldZ31220]

@_y3maya Marcus Aurelius wrote Meditations so you could post this in 2026.