David Schwartz

I don’t tweet often, so if you follow me, I probably won’t clog your feed.

[Todd Spence @Todd_Spence]

The idea for SNL's infamous "WORD ASSOCATION" sketch featuring Chevy Chase and Richard Pryor began with Pryor's personal comedy writer Paul Mooney and Mooney's dislike of Lorne Michaels. Pryor, who was set to host, demanded they hire Mooney to help write to Pryor's voice but Lorne was skeptical so he personally interviewed Mooney to see if he should hire him for the episode, which Mooney felt was more an embarrassing examination based on his race than talent. Mooney said, "After all the bullshit I've been put through to get here, the fucking cross-examination Lorne subjects me to, I decide to do a job interview of my own."
The sketch was ranked in Rolling Stone magazine as #10 for their 50 Best SNL Sketches of All-Time list.

[David Schwartz @GetARoll]

@SaracenCasinoAR Where was this when I was there?

[David Schwartz @GetARoll]

@2econdWrestling @valcapone My high school mall!

[Pete Hegseth @PeteHegseth]

Two simple Truths:

Jesus Christ died for our sins.

America’s fallen died for our freedom.

May we live worthy.

[David Schwartz @GetARoll]

@Casino_Org @GamingAuthor A stiff anywhere in the casino is someone who doesn’t tip.

[Adam Carolla @adamcarolla]

Funny

[Vital Vegas @VitalVegas]

Service levels in Vegas are always great, but sometimes they’re spectacular.

[David Schwartz @GetARoll]

@carltontsaffa $125 a whack is serious gambling.

[FOX5 Las Vegas @FOX5Vegas]

“All they have to do is sign in with their name. It is completely free."

Every afternoon, children can find a place to relax and refuel at libraries across the valley through a program known as Kids Cafe. FOX5's Evan Leake reports.

Story: https://t.co/Mk5i2KEEpj

[David Schwartz @GetARoll]

@John_Mehaffey @TwoWayHardEight If you avoid the pass line and come bets it is not a bad game. Typically there is less prop bettors (since they can place the usual props) so the game has a little more flow.

[Defiant L’s @DefiantLs]

Jimmy Failla: "To protest Donald Trump tonight, a lot of the liberal correspondents are wearing pins on their outfits. A lot of pins up and down the lapels. They look like waitresses at TGI Fridays. I just ordered a plate of potato skins off Margaret Brennan."

[David Schwartz @GetARoll]

@valcapone @collective2025 @EFFYlives I work at Aria in table games. Don’t know if you remember me from DRB. Come say hi!

[David Schwartz @GetARoll]

@HARLANDHIGHWAY @funnyboneomaha Leave an upper decker in the toilet there. Omaha is garbage so make sure you don’t use any big words while you are there.

[David Schwartz @GetARoll]

@johnreport I think it would be a good redemption story if he won, but I doubt that he will.

[David Schwartz @GetARoll]

@DefiantLs But it tastes good.

[gambling @dickens1298]

@LasVegasLocally So some people want the $5 tables and the old cheap Vegas.

And you expect hospitality workers to be paid a living wage?

Guess where the cheap tables are at? Usually at a break-in casino.

And there’s a reason for that.

[David Schwartz @GetARoll]

@RoscoSwole @VitalVegas I believe it. I’m sure there was still $18 6&8’s still on the table. Longest rolls usually have people still worried about field bets and hard ways.

[Todd Spence @Todd_Spence]

In 1994, Johnny Carson surprised David Letterman's audience two years after his retirement to present the Top 10 List 🙌 The moment would also mark Carson's last appearance ever on television

[David Schwartz @GetARoll]

@cantstoptrev @BarstoolBigCat I worked with him. One of the nicest guys you will ever meet.

[Damon Amendolara @DamonAmendo]

While football and basketball coaches now look like they’re on their way to Home Depot after the game, hockey coaches still wear suits👌🏼