Tyrus Gilliland

[Tyrus Gilliland @GillilandTyrus]

@theneedledrop Rock and roll suicide - Bowie

[Tyrus Gilliland @GillilandTyrus]

@BenSwann_ That’s like a restaurant making you eat before your reservation.

[Tyrus Gilliland @GillilandTyrus]

@ashleevance @elonmusk @JeffBezos Ya but we’re all waiting for the main competition….who’s got the biggest dink????

[Tyrus Gilliland @GillilandTyrus]

@MaximeBernier @HaltonDSB Going to be wishing they opted for the giant camel toe once the back pain kicks in.

[Tyrus Gilliland @GillilandTyrus]

@profamirattaran @united @rcmpgrcpolice @Transport_gc @AirPassRightsCA @CBCPolitics @globeandmail @globalnews Left wing, right wing, anti vax, pro vax. With all the division and debate in the world, today we all came together in agreement on one thing…Amir is a douche. #nobelpeaceprizeforamir

[Tyrus Gilliland @GillilandTyrus]

@tired_of_war @judgar64 @PremierScottMoe Ya. He’s the first, nay the only, politician I’ve ever seen do that. Unheard of.

[Tyrus Gilliland @GillilandTyrus]

I think I speak for most people when I say the thing I’m most excited about when the COVID restrictions are lifted is being able to have regular old sex again. No more glory holes. No more N96s. No more latex gloves. Au naturel baby. #COVID19 #COVID

[Tyrus Gilliland @GillilandTyrus]

Justin Trudeau: “Hey toots, why don’t ya come over here and rub daddies bunions.”

Sophie: “No babe, I told you I don’t like doing that”

Justin Trudeau: “….is that a Nazi flag you’re holding?”
@JustinTrudeau

[Tyrus Gilliland @GillilandTyrus]

Starting a givesendgo to raise money for sphincter reconstruction surgeries for @JustinTrudeau and @CBCNews. If successful, they will no longer need to crap out their mouths!

[Tyrus Gilliland @GillilandTyrus]

@DrivingLaine @30SecFights Hahaha

[Tyrus Gilliland @GillilandTyrus]

I hope in the future the human scrotum will somehow evolve so that it doesn’t stick to your leg on a hot day...like naturally produces cornstarch when it hits 25 degrees outside. #evolution #starchballz

[Tyrus Gilliland @GillilandTyrus]

#bucciovertimechallenge Anderson, coyle

[Tyrus Gilliland @GillilandTyrus]

If David Suzuki told Trudeau that skin friction emits carbon, the guy would be taxing yankin’ off and knockin’ boots.

[Tyrus Gilliland @GillilandTyrus]

@chrisdelia @willtiltshire @DrivingLaine

[Tyrus Gilliland @GillilandTyrus]

@TrueBabyMemes @chrisdelia @TheoVon @DrivingLaine

[Theo Von @TheoVon]

congrats and good luck @Bharper3407

from today's episode
https://t.co/7QEN2d5pLV

[Tyrus Gilliland @GillilandTyrus]

@VicBergerIV @tomsegura When someone told you your parents just died, but you still have to beat up some Russian ninjas

[Tyrus Gilliland @GillilandTyrus]

Tip: If the heels of your shoe-slippers aren’t completely worn down after three visits to Walmart you aren’t doing it right.

[Tyrus Gilliland @GillilandTyrus]

Best way to fit in at Walmart is to stomp the backs of your shoes flat, and shuffle around like you’re wearing slippers.

[Tyrus Gilliland @GillilandTyrus]

@KimKardashian Kanye probably watered all those roses with Kims panties after that #creamin