Matt

Don't worry, it's not contagious.

[Deadspin @Deadspin]

Recruit Who Tweeted Stuff Like "The Teacher Tells Me When A Girls Squirts That’s Not A Organism" Commits To Colorado http://t.co/MVePi0ah

[Sara Juliet Fruman @Sara_Fruman]

Sh*t People From Colorado Think But Don't Say When They Live In Hollywood
http://t.co/3drPokQk

[Matt @GimpThePimp]

When I see someone with a full sleeves tattoo on one arm and nothing on the other, I always wonder which way they'd turn in a shark attack.

[Matt @GimpThePimp]

If you thought Oregon's football helmets were annoying, check out their basketball court. Jesus. Is something wrong with my TV? #Quacks

[Matt @GimpThePimp]

I can't remember the last time the Avalanche and Nuggets both won overtime games on the same night! I think that Tebow guy is rubbing off...

[Matt @GimpThePimp]

I wonder if the Lakers stocked the visitor's locker room with candy tonight for Lamar Odom's return. If they did, Khloe probably ate it.

[Matt @GimpThePimp]

My quadriplegic hands could catch more passes tonight than these Packers receivers, and I drop shit all the time.

[Matt @GimpThePimp]

Who knows, maybe Tom Coughlin just likes to drink wine on the sideline. What's wrong with that, Joe Buck? #Giants

[Matt @GimpThePimp]

'Fuck politics and field goals!'

[Matt @GimpThePimp]

'The only difference between the 2007 New York Giants and the 2011 team is I'm not on this team.' - Michael Strahan

[Matt @GimpThePimp]

The weather today is more undecisive than I am. So what's for lunch, clouds?

[Matt @GimpThePimp]

And Patriots fans, the Broncos have fucking owned your team for like 50 years so don't get all high and mighty! (Thanks for not droppin 80).

[Matt @GimpThePimp]

Last night was a huge embarrassing failure, but we're still fucking here! Don't act like Tom Brady hasn't picked apart your team before.

[Matt @GimpThePimp]

I guess it shouldn't surprise me that a Raiders and Red Sox fan would call Broncos fans bandwagon. Hooked by stupidity! #ohtheirony

[Matt @GimpThePimp]

I knew I shouldn't have checked Facebook today. Fuck.

[Matt @GimpThePimp]

That's ok if you're the type of douchebag sports fan who attaches themselves to a winner, but you can never use the word 'bandwagon' again.

[The Denver Post @denverpost]

#Broncos fans fired up; New England #Patriots fans ... not so much: http://t.co/QZf592kC by @PostBroncos

[Matt @GimpThePimp]

Who are these fucking morons who fly down the highway speeding in a snowstorm? I can barely see but 55 is too slow for you? Wreck, please.

[Matt @GimpThePimp]

@jimrome Best segment ever! Hahahahaha