The Girl Next Door

I'm just your typical girl next door, tanning naked on that lawn chair during your family reunion. You're welcome. THA DIRTY SOUF.

[The Girl Next Door @GirlNextD00rr]

whenever a spider dies, an angel eats a cupcake and smiles.

[The Girl Next Door @GirlNextD00rr]

what if god was one of us? he would say, and I quote, "YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US". I'm absolutely positive.

[The Girl Next Door @GirlNextD00rr]

you know when you just really want to suckerpunch someone with both hands, wearing 10 rings, on purpose? yeah, me too.

[The Girl Next Door @GirlNextD00rr]

sup sluts I'm back

[The Girl Next Door @GirlNextD00rr]

I accidentally dyed my hair brown last night and I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or shave my head.

[The Girl Next Door @GirlNextD00rr]

so like what have the Dixie Chicks been doing lately

[The Girl Next Door @GirlNextD00rr]

if I like your facebook status, don't get it twisted. I absolutely want to be on your dick, otherwise I would have kept scrolling.

[The Girl Next Door @GirlNextD00rr]

it's cute that you think champagne isn't an acceptable defense mechanism, but...

[The Girl Next Door @GirlNextD00rr]

answer: apparently more than three.

[The Girl Next Door @GirlNextD00rr]

ALRIGHT, so how many mimosas do I have to chug on a Monday night to be able to say something nice about my ex?

[The Girl Next Door @GirlNextD00rr]

“@QueenSublime: bahaha dying at the @GirlNextD00rr's bio, love it!” thanks girlfriannnn 💁

[The Girl Next Door @GirlNextD00rr]

I can't wait for all the clothes I ordered on wanelo to arrive so I can be disappointed.

[The Girl Next Door @GirlNextD00rr]

also, you have a legitimate stripper name. so that's another reason I CANNOT take you or your shit seriously. sorry bout it.

[The Girl Next Door @GirlNextD00rr]

who even cares that you have three different accounts or what the fuck ever is even going on there? twitter scares me and you're a psycho.

[The Girl Next Door @GirlNextD00rr]

what's up my twittersphere I'm baaaaaaaaacccccckkkkkk 💁🍄🙋👍

[The Girl Next Door @GirlNextD00rr]

@Southern_007 😘😘😘😘😘💁

[Southern Gentleman ™ @Southern_007]

Of course my favorite frozen snow girl Yankee on Twitter. Give @GirlNextD00rr a follow if you live in the south. Ages linking about visiting

[The Girl Next Door @GirlNextD00rr]

fuck pants...the only sisterhood I was in was the sisterhood of the traveling fake i.d

[The Girl Next Door @GirlNextD00rr]

hey b.m, thanks for considering the stoner community that keeps you in business when printing this ironic coupon. 😂👍

[The Girl Next Door @GirlNextD00rr]

I plan on sitting here and slowly eating my sandwich, doing zero work indefinitely to punish my boss for his personality.