Glockmah Ricardo

me when the Coke Zero hits 👁👄👁

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

Can someone buy me this I have a date tomorrow

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

CDC says my dad can beat up your dad

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

if y'all are STILL sleeping on pears please continue doing so it's a dumb fruit

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

Just waiting over here for Gmail to add stories

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

State of Nevada is one big gender reveal party rn

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

The fly on pences hair is poetic

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

@angelawlzies the beats solos are absolute drip

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

These gender reveals are getting out of hand you’d think we’d learn after Pompeii

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

at Olive Garden and their cocktail menu is lacking there are only two options and both have a breadstick in it

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

on that coup d'état shit

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

dad stop you’re embarrassing me

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

@beefsicle Wimbardium leggyosa

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

Turns out the Honda dealership doesn’t set out free cookies in the waiting area due to covid I get safety and all but a line’s been crossed

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

I tripped on purpose at the end of my pacer test in 10th grade so no one knew I was spent and to this day I worry that my classmates were on to me

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

Why the fuck did you wake me up I was dreaming about being blonde

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

@beefsicle The divine sun rays really add to this

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

First date we’re doing the entire hot one’s course I want you to see me at my worst immediately

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

Instead of ghosting people just text them this “👻”

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

@cal_gif This one hurts a lil 🥺

[Glockmah Ricardo @GlockmahR]

imagine not being born with a six pack lmao