Timothy Claude

enamel grows like cancer on everyone I love, encasing them in flimsy armour, weak to sugar

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

gravel road? i sure hope it does

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

eat the boogers
eat the bees
weep for beggars
crabs are trees

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

Age old question, spit, swallow or chew

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

@RespectfulMemes ask your lover to lend you there services. They can swallow it if they've been good

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

50% of all calamari is actually made of recycled Trojans and Durex product; sometimes even pre-chewed!

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

not to brag but i can brag really well

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

@RespectfulMemes the hunble obama found on every day items

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

@NewYorker there must be a refresh on his outdated films! Uber Driver is first

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

gargling lint from the dryer helps tackle a common lack of dryer lint in your upper airways

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

dilating yet again

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

@UN @UNEP birds can breastfeed themselves! no need to interrupt science

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

@couriermail so what! dominoes delivers on my driveway all the time

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

@australian offer prostate removal as a form of birth control, and send the scraps to Tibet for extra protein for the orphans ✊

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

@RespectfulMemes mr wide 😍

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

@RespectfulMemes it was because nonna wouldnt let us grab ourselves under the sheets. as she always got to go first

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

what if?!?!

cheese was bigger 📈

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

Sat in hommus volunteering for the fire station. They used the big hose to wash it off

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

Spit swallow or chew

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

little chubgus

[Timothy Claude @Glodburgh]

@WholesomeMeme many a load be frozen in time, dripping down the hidden wall, yellowed