Lifestyle || Culture || Entertainment
Fun! Live for today & tomorrow. Tomorrow is a dream, yesterday a memory; neither as real as the fabric on your skin
In 1984, a twenty-five-year-old woman stood in a hospital hallway in Arkansas and watched a group of nurses draw straws to decide who would have to enter a patient's room. A red biohazard bag hung from the door handle. Inside was a young man suffering from AIDS. He had been reduced to eighty pounds and was dying in terrible pain, whispering the same word over and over again: “Mama.”
Ruth Coker Burks didn't wait to find out who had drawn the short straw. She turned the handle and walked inside.
She asked the nurses to contact the young man's family, but they told her they had already been calling for six weeks without getting an answer. Ruth took the phone number and decided to try one more time herself. When the man's mother answered, her response was cold and final. She said her son was sinful and that, as far as she was concerned, he was already dead to her. She refused to come.
Ruth hung up the phone and walked back into the room. She sat beside the young man's bed and stayed there. For thirteen hours, she held the hand of a dying stranger, quietly whispering comforting words until he took his final breath.
When his family refused to claim his body, Ruth decided she would bury him herself. She paid for the cremation out of her own pocket, found a chipped cookie jar from a local potter to hold his ashes, and took him to her family's cemetery in Hot Springs, Arkansas. Using posthole diggers meant for building farm fences, she dug the grave with her own hands. When the grave was finished, she said a quiet prayer over the soil.
Word of Ruth's kindness slowly began spreading across the South. People heard about a woman in Arkansas who wasn't afraid. A woman who would sit beside you when you were dying and make sure you were treated with dignity when no one else would claim you.
Over the next decade, Ruth Coker Burks personally cared for more than 1,000 people dying of AIDS. Most were young men who had been abandoned by their families and communities during the height of the crisis. She buried forty of them with her own hands in her family's cemetery. Her young daughter often went with her, carrying a small toy spade while Ruth worked with the heavy posthole diggers.
Many of the people Ruth cared for had lost their jobs, their homes, and almost everything they once had. She scrambled to help them buy medication and food and to keep up with their rent. She needed money to continue, and the local drag queens stepped in to help. Every Saturday night, they hosted shows and pooled their tips so Ruth could keep supporting the people who depended on her.
By the late 1990s, medical treatments had advanced and the immediate crisis had begun to change. Ruth's urgent work slowly became less visible, and over time, her story faded into quiet history. But the forty small graves in Hot Springs remained. They became sacred ground, cared for by a woman who had refused to let people die believing they were unwanted or disposable.
When fear and panic sweep through a society, it can be painfully easy for communities to turn their backs on the people who need help the most. Ruth Coker Burks chose to do the opposite. She walked toward the fear, sat beside those everyone else had abandoned, and made sure that even in death, they were treated like human beings.