Goat User Stories

Goats pictured are used with permission or attribution. Most of the goat pics are by @JodyJunebug_64 TikTok: @walleyeinthehouse

[Goat User Stories @GoatUserStories]

As a goat, I want to implement a RESTful interface

[Goat User Stories @GoatUserStories]

As a goat, I want to greet every @Jeep that visits our corner of Route 66 so that travelers know they're among friends. #GoatYourKicks #Route66

[Goat User Stories @GoatUserStories]

As a goat, I want elevated visibility into paddock operations so that I can provide effective oversight while remaining seated.

[Goat User Stories @GoatUserStories]

As a goat, I want to eliminate deadwood dependencies so that new growth can be delivered faster.

[Goat User Stories @GoatUserStories]

As a goat, I want to begin the sprint by aggressively parkouring off my coworkers, so that the team stays agile.

[Goat User Stories @GoatUserStories]

As a senior caprine engineer, I want to remain visible in the aisle while contributing no further labor, so that I appear technically online.

[Goat User Stories @GoatUserStories]

As a goat I want to occupy the premium chair without explanation, so that everyone understands hierarchy.

[Goat User Stories @GoatUserStories]

As a senior caprine engineer,
I want production access to the fence latch,
so that we can accelerate outbound deployment velocity.

[Goat User Stories @GoatUserStories]

As a goat who respects feedback, I want to gently push limits so that assumptions may be surfaced early.

[Goat User Stories @GoatUserStories]

As a remote-work goat I want casual access to the countertop grahams so that I may maintain morale throughout the afternoon.

[Goat User Stories @GoatUserStories]

As a leadership goat, I want key stakeholders arriving with dramatically reduced ear capacity so that difficult feedback remains manageable.

[Goat User Stories @GoatUserStories]

As a governance goat, I want to establish a cross-functional partnership with the scream bird so that blockers may be surfaced early.

[Goat User Stories @GoatUserStories]

As an infrastructure goat, I want nobody touching the legacy truck wiring so that production may continue shambling forward, close to the metal.

[Goat User Stories @GoatUserStories]

As a government goat, I want to dispatch my weekly justification email so that I can prove I'm the GOAT and not merely a scapegoat.

[Goat User Stories @GoatUserStories]

Most of the full text from screenshot is in alt text! Got a bit cut-off, but DM me your literary GOAT submissions. The Chief Editorial Goat reserves the right not to post submissions for any reason.

[Goat User Stories @GoatUserStories]

As a goat I want you to help me revert, if needed so that I can deploy with impunity.

[Goat User Stories @GoatUserStories]

As a goat [tweeter] I wanted to return to this account soon so that I could heal from losing my [human] mom recently. To bring back joy with our shared love for goats in tech. If Twitter doesn't die, I'll meet you back at the barn.

Thank you, @mmrobins @JodyJunebug_64 @lgiles.

[Kevin Bacon @kevinbacon]

Hot day, hot song. The goats and I are feeling Heated, @Beyonce. Loving this track. #GoatSongs #Renaissance

[Goat User Stories @GoatUserStories]

As a goat I want to see eye to eye with my colleagues so that we aren't being a couple of asses.

[Goat User Stories @GoatUserStories]

As a goat I want to understand new things so that I don't complain about it so vocally. And so that I don't get written up for complaining about things so vocally.