litigation_god

Legal humor since 2018. If you're sending your Florida cases to your cousin instead of me, we need to talk. FL PI + Commercial Lit. Dm us!

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

@TaherHassonjee @Ryan_Weller @TiredBambooLaw Way to double down and sound dumber. Lol.

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

@LawyerCat_ @smod4real 😂😂

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

Pro se litigants were already a nightmare. Now they have AI. We filed a one-count dec action and got back , 47 affirmative defenses and 10 counterclaims plus a “law firm” footer copied from ours with his home address. I hate this timeline.

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

@ZiomkowskiChris lol. Okay buddy.

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

@Angry_Anchorite And now the client gets pissed because you have to bill way more. Just a nightmare.

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

@TaherHassonjee @Ryan_Weller @TiredBambooLaw A business cannot represent itself in most states my guy.

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

@chrisgford Courts are going to have to create pro se divisions where pro se filers need to get leave of court before filing stuff lol

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

Davis Polk billing out legal assistants at $790 per hour and I'm over here worried my rates are too high. Apparently I've been running Legal Aid.

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

@ItsMattsLaw @chasedownleads 😂😂😂

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

@KyleWGraves Sir this is a Wendy’s.

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

Lawyers billing $1,000 an hour over the meaning of words while proudly calling themselves “shareholders” with zero shares is very funny to me.

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

@REdebtlawyer A lot of big law firms do this and don’t give equity. They use “Shareholder synonymously with “Partner” but both lack any actual equity. You’re a shareholder in the same way Olive Garden makes you family.

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

@ItsMattsLaw

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

Plaintiff gets assaulted by her Lyft driver. Sues Lyft for the safety lies on its website that got her in the car. Fla. 4th DCA today: nope. The statute is titled 'Vicarious Liability.' The opinion admits the immunity it actually grants sweeps far broader than that. Cool consumer protection regime we have going here. https://t.co/N9aNgic5S2

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

@thefineprintesq @ItsMattsLaw I’ve been trying to tell him.. @ItsMattsLaw

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

@ItsMattsLaw The only proper response is a MacBook Pro. 😬

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

@ItsMattsLaw Same shit different decade 🕺

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

I aspire to have the confidence of a lawyer signing pleadings with a yahoo email account.

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

@ItsMattsLaw @Jonno_T This gym equipment didn’t spot him, but I will.

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

@sutherlex @ItsMattsLaw Thank you Hunter. Some people understand vertical integration.

[litigation_god @GodLitigation]

If you get injured by an elevator, call me. I take cases on every level and we always rise to the occasion.

[Matt Margolis @ItsMattsLaw]

As someone who has litigated a bunch of elevator claims—don’t do this.