JORDAN

Part-time cricket analyst, full-time meme exporter, Certified keyboard warrior, undefeated in imaginary arguments.

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

Yeh football mai kitne minutes ka powerplay hota hai? #FIFAWorldCup

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

@StttarkK22422 I'm not triggered on reality 😭😭 Aunty

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

@forthecountry0 @plot_twistttt Who Disrespect women here😭😭😭
Performative male syndrome 🫠

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

In 2010, Siphiwe Tshabalala scored one of the most iconic World Cup opening goals ever against Mexico.

16 years later, South Africa and Mexico are opening the tournament again.

Some fixtures age like fine wine.
#FIFAWorldCup

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

@forthecountry0 @plot_twistttt You are too Gay for this platform dude 😎

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

🚨Fun fact🚨
Mexico has played in 7 previous World Cup opening matches and has NEVER won one.
South Africa just showed up and found the perfect victim to continue the streak.
#FIFAWorldCup

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

FIFA expanded to 48 teams.
India and China expanded their excuses.😭⚽
#FIFAWorldCup

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

India 🤝 China
Combined population: 3 billion+
Combined goals at this World Cup: Zero
#FIFAWorldCup

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

The first World Cup match has already achieved its purpose:
Millions of Indians are awake at an ungodly hour pretending they understand tactical formations.
#FIFAWorldCup

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

South Africa 🇿🇦 vs Mexico 🇲🇽
As a neutral Indian viewer, my strategy is simple:
Support whichever team is currently attacking.
#FIFAWorldCup

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

@forthecountry0 @plot_twistttt Dude on same time I am taking stand for your brother and father 😭😭😭

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

The FIFA World Cup starts. So does the annual migration of Indian fans to Argentina and Brazil.
#FifaOpenerOnZEE5

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

World Cup opener: Mexico vs South Africa.

2010 result: 1-1 🤝
2026 result: ?
⚽️🔥
#FifaOpenerOnZEE5

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

16 years ago:
South Africa hosted the World Cup and opened against Mexico.

Today:
Mexico hosts the World Cup and opens against South Africa.

The fixture list just completed a full circle. ⚽️🌎
#FifaOpenerOnZEE5

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

As an Indian who doesn't watch football, my favorite part of the World Cup is watching people pretend they were lifelong fans of whichever team reaches the semifinal.🫣
#FIFAWorldCup

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

Football World Cup is here.

Time for Indians to become experts on Argentina, Brazil, France, and Portugal for one month before returning to IPL auction discussions.
#FIFAWorldCup

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

Football World Cup season is when I suddenly discover I have friends who support countries they've never visited, don't speak the language of, and can't find on a map.
#FIFAWorldCup

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

11 June: Cockroach Janta Party hits the streets.
Demands:
• Free entry to every kitchen
• Protection from slippers
• Reservation under refrigerators
Nation awaits the government's response.

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

Every day feels like a tug of war between my thoughts telling me to give up on life and a stubborn part of me refusing to lose.😞

[JORDAN @GoesCold]

@iamshubham_15 @kya_butterfly_h Ok kirkit analyst sarrrrrrr🤡🤡