polka king of the midwest

here's to feeling good all the time

[polka king of the midwest @Goldenjofa]

@mattdavirro Not if I was starving to death

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

The Denny's Grand Slam was in Texas, 2013. They naively thought they could handle a hardcore show.

[Interesting AF @interesting_aIl]

wtf is going on 💀

[polka king of the midwest @Goldenjofa]

Yeah sure “wild boar”. As opposed to domesticated boar.

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

This will forever go down as one of the worst high five misses in history

[polka king of the midwest @Goldenjofa]

On my rum pum pum pum shit

[Eric Szyszka @ericszyszka]

I’m sure if Jesus and Santa were alive today they’d support my plan to “maintain a nice buzz” over the next 48 hours.

[brent @murrman5]

[me telling my story how I survived a plane crash and lived on a deserted island for a year] it was crazy
[friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called the grinch the grink] was the grink there?

[polka king of the midwest @Goldenjofa]

@mattdavirro Wine before bucky? I’m feeling lucky…

[polka king of the midwest @Goldenjofa]

Beer before wine you’re feeling fine

Wine before beer you’re in the clear

[polka king of the midwest @Goldenjofa]

My Spotify wrapped was pretty normal this year. The pandemic is officially over.

[polka king of the midwest @Goldenjofa]

I’d rather have a rat living in my house than a pug

[polka king of the midwest @Goldenjofa]

In Goodwill Hunting Robin Williams’ character says he can bench 285lbs

In Mrs Doubtfire the son says “wow you’re big for a lady, you should play for the 49ers”.

Robin Williams was 5’5”

[polka king of the midwest @Goldenjofa]

Yeah I have BDE, Bud Dwyer Energy

[polka king of the midwest @Goldenjofa]

Very specific kind of guy who feels the need to shout out his barber when he gets a normal haircut

[polka king of the midwest @Goldenjofa]

I could be in a rocket car trying to break the land speed record and there would be a guy in a pickup truck behind me riding my ass.

[polka king of the midwest @Goldenjofa]

I’m drunk let’s tweet some drafts.

[polka king of the midwest @Goldenjofa]

Hockey players love nothing more than a big stupid hat

[polka king of the midwest @Goldenjofa]

You’ll only ever see a lady in a yogurt commercial. No one wants to see a man eating yogurt. It’s perverse.

[polka king of the midwest @Goldenjofa]

Putting an Apple sticker on your car is the ultimate NPC move.